Reporter’s diary

Press, 26 December 1987, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

News hounding SOME dogs have been trained to be such faithful newspaper retrievers that they don’t know when to give up. One was spied by a Christmas carouser at 3 a.m. as it sprinted across to sniffff out a pile of papers left outside a dairy in Cashel Street. The papers were too firmly bound by wire to be budged, so the newshound bounded over the road to a rubbish sack. It rumaged among the debris until it emerged triumphant, with a copy of “The Press” days old, admittedly, but a newspaper, nevertheless. Unappeeling CHRISTMAS preparations reached a peak of frenzy in one South Brighton household as the woman earnestly tried to scrape a saveloy with a potato peeler, thinking it was a carrot. If she had worn her glasses it might have helped. Things do get hectic around now, but what was the dog’s sav doing in the carrots, anyway? Feather Christmas A duck snatcher could find that his goose is well and truly cooked after eating his ill-gotten gains for Christmas. Maisie, a three-year-old pet of a family in East Cornwall, Britain, had just had a large injection of female hormones before she was nabbed by the duck thief. There could be some changes in store for the thief within the next four months if he eats the animal. Spoiled effect AMONG the Christmas cards in his mail box, a

reader found one envelope with a computerised label. Impeccable. The ultimate no-hassle way of getting Christmas cards away. Set up the home computer, load the labels in the printer, then sit back and have a quiet drink. No worries about leaving anyone off the list. A pity that this card had the wrong address. It's 0n... CHRISTMAS cards have expanded since their unambitious beginnings in 1843. Besides the usual glitter ones, musical ones, unfolding ones, ones

printed especially for neighbours, former spouses, or partners, there was even a three-stage one that arrived at “The Press” over several days. The first card merely said "ho”; so did the second — and slightly larger — card, which arrived the next day. Naturally enough, the third card also said “ho” and the words: “The last laugh’s on us.” It was signed by the staff of the promotions company that sent it. ... the cards PETS sending Christmas

greetings to other pets is not, believe it or not, uncommon. The Kaiapoi resident who found a message for Sam and Scooter, with love from Pinky and Fluff, in his mail box is in good company with many other animal owners who send greetings on behalf of their pets — which is not as bad as sending small gifts. One woman opened a letter that had been addressed to her cat. The contents — one very dead mouse — besides being illegal were particularly nasty. After she recovered from the shock she harangued the sender.

Don’t blame me. She was told; it serves you right for opening other cats’ mail! Touche.

—Jenny Feltham