Woman tells of life after jail

Press, 8 December 1987, Page 1

Woman tells of life after jail

By DEBORAH McPHERSON Feeling like a “dirty old discarded rag” is how a former prison inmate and Christchurch mother of two describes her position in society now. The woman, who wished to use the pseudonym “Jane” said that adjusting to living with her family again, trying to find a job, and coping with the stigma of being a former inmate had been “tough, very tough.” “I am on parole, and although I’m on the D.P.8., I’ve been going around various places offering to do even voluntary work, because the hardest part about getting out is finding something to do with your time. But people j don’t

want to know you. “I’m basically a good person, but I’ve felt like a dirty old rag, discarded and not good enough for anyone.” “I want people to accept me for what I am, someone with something to offer.” Coming to terms with herself as a person has meant dealing with the humiliation of being raped twice in her life, traumas Jane believed contributed to her stealing habits. “It was a cry for help. When I got a man friend I could not handle, I bolted and pinched something.” Jane was first raped by three men when she was 16, but said, “those were the days when the police thought you asked for it.”

The humiliating experience of not being believed made her afraid to report another rape later after becoming a mother with a seven-year-old daughter.

Her young son was the result of the second rape, but because of her fears she led her family and other people to believe she had had a “one-night stand.” Jane was attacked a third time ip Wellington, but managed to avoid being raped after she “let loose on the guy with all my anger.” “I felt good about being able to do that, although the police would not understand why I could still smile.” Jane reckoned about 80 per cent of all women in prison had a similar story to tell

about being victims of sexual or physical abuse. Jane, however, has started to pick up the threads of her life through counselling (one of the terms of her parole), and because she has also finally realised “I need help, and have asked tor it”

Yesterday her offer of voluntary help was accepted by the Christchurch Prisoners Aid and Rehabilitation Society. There she hopes she can prevent other young people from making the same mistakes she has.

“I will never offend again because I realise I have too much to lose and too much to give.”