Betty & Brucev. Scarlett & Rhett

Press, 30 August 1986, Page 16

Betty & Brucev. Scarlett & Rhett

When I was young and impressionable, I went to see “Gone with the Wind” and fell in love with Scar-

lett O’Hara. I don’t know if the phrase had been invented then, but I saw her as a role model. As strong and capable as she was fearless and no truck with goody-goodies either

Melanie, oh the other hand, was a lily-livered milksop. I shed not a tear when she died in childbirth. I saw this tragedy through Scarlet's eyes. At last she was free to have the only man she had ever loved, that is, Melanie’s husband, Ashley. When he rebuffed her, I thought he was a milksop too. A few years later, when I saw the movie again my sympathies were all with Melanie. Scarlett infuriated me. I was embarrassed by her contempt for gentle, kind and sensitive people whom she dismissed as weak and useless.

I had grown up to the extent where I had come to recognise, if not appreciate, the ordinary virtues of decency, kindness and loyalty and so many others that never make the headlines or appear on telly.

Back in the real world when I met Bruce and Betty, I thought they were incredibly boring. They were decent, churchgoing, hard-working, nondrinking, capable, contributing human beings. They had one son, referred to as the nipper, who was then about nine. He was the apple of their eye(s). I thought the nipper was incredibly boring too. All their positive qualities were of no consequences to me because they were not smart. Although non-drinkers themselves, they provided liquor for others whenever they entertained. Even this didn’t impress me ... I probably complained that they didn’t provide enough. When I met Betty again recently she hand’t changed, but I had. I didn’t find her nearly as boring any more, mainly because I had come to the inevitable conclusion that I was pretty boring myself. The nipper is now a man of 24, and to be fair, no longer called the nipper. He is all they ever

hoped he would be. He doesn’t drink or smoke and he attends church regularly. He is clever and has a flair for languages. He is a teacher in a secondary school in a working class district of Sydney where the population is mainly Italian. He, of course,

speaks fluent Italian. Luckily he has chosen a career where he can be a valuable role model for yoUng people (much better than Scarlett O’Hara). I hope the parents whose children he teaches, have some idea how lucky they are. . ■ These days when

women are expected to combine a family and a career, it is possible to think that you can successfully raise children with one hand tied behind your back. It is only when things go wrong that people realise that it requires so much time and commitment. Young street kids, barely in their teens, sit around and rot because the time and effort, required to salvage even one of them is of monumental proportions. Politicians, social workers and ordinary decent people consign them to the toohard basket.

Betty is as proud as ever, but frustrated by the comments of her contemporaries who see her decent, hard-working, warmhearted and wonderfully rewarding son as the luck of the draw.

She says: “People always say to us, you’re so lucky! He’s never been out of work. He was always good at school. He’s never taken drugs, or given you any trouble. You don’t know how lucky you are.

“Nobody, just nobody,

has ever said what a good job we’ve done.”

So I am saying it now. Good on you Betty, good on you Bruce. You have successfully launched? a decent, hard-working, capable, kind and loving human being. If that is the only thing your lives have got to show, they have been well spent.