Reporter’s diary

Press, 2 June 1982, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

Giant sbeep ONE LONDON newspaper took great delight in pointing out an error in. a press release from the New. Zealand Lamb Information Bureau. The bureau wrote that by December this year “New Zealand will have supplied Britain with 20 million tonnes of meat, equivalent to 1400 carcases of lamb.” The newspaper comments: “They' are breeding some mighty beasts Down Under these days.” What the bureau meant to say of course, was 1400 million carcases. It is, indeed, an awful lot of lamb, but presumably the bureau was referring to the centennial of refrigerated meat exports from New Zealand, and the 20 million tonnes exported to Britain in the last 100 years. Wrong track YOU’RE ON the right track with the Beijing Underground Railway, claims the glossy advertising brochure sent to “The Press,” recently. The brochure was touting for advertisers who didn’t mind paying out up to $2500 a month for the privilege of having their message seen by the million or so Chinese who pass through, two of the Beijing Underground Railway stations every day. Sinceit is» highly unlikely that any.. o‘f, those million Chinese arrf ever, likely to come intoy Contact with, copies of “The Press,” the message would be somewhat ■wasted.,yNp-1 doubt., similar

brochures have been sent to numerous companies in New . Zealand; maybe they will have more use for them. Distant relation AMBITIOUS Tories with Argentine connections are not faring too well in Britain, reports the “Daily Telegraph” in London. The junior Education Minister in Mrs Thatcher’s Conservatve Government is one William Shelton who speaks fluent Spanish,. having lived in Venezuela for five years before marrying his half-Argentine wife, ..Anna, in 1960. He is earnestly hoping, the report says, that his postman does not speak Spanish. Every letter he gets from his relatives in Buenos Aires has “Down With the tyrant Thatcher!” written all over the envelope in the spaces where the British Post Office would usually have such mild . legends as “Post Early for Christmas.” Personal message WHEN PUNK was trendy, which in Christchurch was more recently than other parts of the world ' where trends are set rather than followed, young punks were wont to dye their pubic hairs horrific colours, Some, apparently, still do. One young female punk, sticken with acute appendicitis, was rushed to . hospital and was operated 'on : soon afterwards. - •■Upon seeing her in her naked state, the nursing staff were understandably taken aback..

Not only were her pudenda a brilliant shade of green; but tattooed above were the words: “Please keep off the grass.” They all managed to suppress their mirth, however, and the surgeon, a somewhat conservative man of advancing years, also remained silent on the subject throughout the operation. When the young woman was sewn up again, the surgeon asked one of the nurses if he could borrow a ballpoint pen. Gently,. underneath the body graffiti, he added: “Sorry, I had to mow your lawn.” Found at last A GOLD watch lost in Auckland four years ago has turned up lying in .a Levin gutter. Mrs Elizabeth Eykel, of Levin, was given the gold wristwatch by her husband, Barry in. 1960, and it was inscribed on the back, ‘To Elizabeth from Barry.’ In 1978, when Mrs Eykel was working in a fac.tory in Henderson the. watch disappeared, believed stolen. Mr Eykel bought another watch for his wife with the insurance money. They went to Levin last August, and last Friday outside a Levin supermarket, Mrs Eykel saw the gold watch glittering in the sun in the gutter, almost, covered by leaves. “I thought it was a bit of silver paper and just kicked it and then bent down, and I could hardly believe my eyes. It was my watch with our names on. it. > It is a bit battered and not going but it’s certainly my watch.”