COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
By
WHIM WHAM
I sat my Examination On Census Night I hope I’ve passed, getting most Of the Answers right — Not hiding the shameful Truth that my Tce-Vce Is Black and White, And I ticked the Box denoting That over my Head is a Roof of Pressed Metal Tiles With Protective Coating, And for Pleasure Boating I own 1 Human-powered Pleasure Boat (With Oars, of course); I’ve 1 Car — not being asked, I didn't disclose That I haven’t a Horse; My Dwelling has 2 Loos and no Pantries, The Form doesn’t clearly Distinguish between Them, requiring A Sum Total merely. And would I understand the statistical Value, If I weren’t such a Fool, Of recording that my Study isn’t a Pool Room? Why not a Pool? As for Ethnic Origin, I tick ‘Full European’ On the national Quiz — Will somebody in Europe kindly advise Me How full That is? But I hope Nobody in Wellington puts me down As ‘Full Caucasian’ — J. F. Blumenbach’s (1752-1840) Classification Meaning ‘white man’ — Sir, do we count Ourselves A colour-conscious Nation, With our Boxes for Races and our Fractions and Degrees Of Miscegenation?
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Press, 28 March 1981, Page 14
Word Count
192COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS Press, 28 March 1981, Page 14
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