HOW TO BE A LIBERAL

Press, Volume CXII, Issue 32903, 29 April 1972, Page 14

HOW TO BE A LIBERAL

(By

WHIM WHAM)

The Leader of the Opposition, Mr Kirk, said the Government might be considering some amendments to the laws governing the Indecent Publications Tribunal. . . He added that most people favoured a liberal outlook, but noted that some liberals "not only want to be liberal, but seem to feel that they are not really liberal unless they are also affronting every convention and value of society.”—News. When a Man says he’s a Liberal, Or a liberal This and That, How am I going to know, Sir, What the Man is getting at? Is he a hard-nosed Tory Trying to coax my Vote? Is he Anything but a genuine Nut Cracked on a high Note? Is he an Educationist Most Liberally endued, — Nothing for Youth but the naked Truth, Teach them in the Nude! Is he a Liberal Censor, All Tolerance, and Charity? Fear no Harm, — he’ll chance his Arm, But not his Popularity. Oh, I’ve Nothing against being Liberal, Some of my best Friends are! But it worries Me whenever I see Them taking it too far. I favour a Liberal Outlook, I’m sure that Most of Us do, — How can We pay our Liberal Way, And win Elections too? Society’s got Conventions, And Values, hasn’t It? Harden your Heart, and play the Part Of the Liberal Hypocrite. Wet your political Finger, Hold it up in the Air, Catch the Wind of the public Mind, Trim your Sail with Care, — I’ll scratch your Liberal Back, Sir, Will you do the Same for Me? Better the Name without the Game, — Whatever the Game may be!