OUR ODDEST ALLY; “MANANA” AT WAR

Press, Volume LXXVIII, Issue 23742, 14 September 1942, Page 4

OUR ODDEST ALLY; “MANANA” AT WAR

LATIN AMERICA

[By A. D. ROTHMAN. Staff Correspond

If the subject matter of this .article appears like an excerpt from a comic opera, and the serious reader is inclined to question the wisdom of so apparently frivolous a topic in such perilous times, the correspondent will offer an apology. However, he gives the preliminary assurance that tne topic has a very real bearing gn the W This is a study of the well-known Latin-American Republic °*Manana (don’t look for it m the geograp y books under that name), a close and important neighbour of the great Re public to the North, the United States of America. , .. As a matter of fact, few of the na tions to the south ofthe United States are as important to it: mdeed, none o the other Latin American nations has gone so far in an expression of Its desire to co-operate . wl t h ..the United States in its war against the Axis. The Republic of Manana has alre ady declared war against Germany and Ttaiv There have been exchanges between President Moneda of Manana and President Roosevelt, m which the pledges of the former of his country s collaboration in the war effort have been most impressive. Actually, axis submarines had already sunk vess flying the Manana flag, and there was every good reason why Manana should be most earnest in its efforts as one of the United Nations in fighting Hitler to the death. In and Out As Manana had been one of the principal centres, of German Gestapo activities in the western hemisphere ever since the beginning of the war. the United States . requested the apprehension of one, Hans Armloch, Chiet of the Gestapo, operating in Manana. Manana responded immediately. Herr Armloch found himself in a copcentration camp. But a few weeks afterward. imagine the amazement 01 American officials when they learned that the very versatile Armloch-was living in the- greatest luxury in one of the finest villas in the best of the suburbs of the city of Benevolencia, which is the capital of Manana. When the head of Security of Manana was queried, he shruggedl _ his shoulders and explained that Herr Armloch had been “too bored” m the concentration camp, and since he had, moreover, smilingly informed Security that if be were not. allowed to seek pleasanter quarters, all citizens of Manana in ’ Germany would be promptly dumped into Dachau, wfiat was there to do? That night, Security detectives, assigned to guard Herr Armloch in his villa, acted as ushers in one of the most sumptuous parties ever given by Herr Armloch in the city of Benevolencia, already. well known for its magnificent social activities. , When Senor Intrigante, Head of Security, was asked whether or not he knew that more than 1000 German Gestapo agents were still active in Manana under the direction of Herr Armloch, despite the assurances given by the President of Manana to the United States that the German, Gestapo in Manana were all safely behind bars, what could he, Senor Intrigante do, but again shrug his shoulders? A Family Affair But then, why blame Senor Intrigante, or even the good Senor Moneda, for isn’t it a well-established fact that Senor Moneda, for all the fine front he makes, for all the earnest, liberal ideas he advances, for all the high place he has among , Pan-American statesmen, is only a figurehead who was manipulated into the Presidency of Manana by a younger uncle, a certain Senor Magnifico, who is the real power in Manana?- Senor Magnifico has become rich since his nephew was elected. As a matter of fact, one of his largest sources of income is the most palatial gambling casino in Manana, or, for that matter, in all the western hemisphere, a property whose physical assets are worth many, many pesetas, but which Senor Magnifico purchased for the nominal sum of 100 pesetas from a certain Norwegian industrialist with vast interests in Latin America and in Manana—a . man who, only incidentally, is on the United States State Department’s black-list, and is generally known to be a Nazi agent. The number of nephews and grandnephews that Senor Magnifico has is legion, and, like the patriotic man he is. Senor Magnifico knows that none can fill a place of trust so well as a member of the family. Some of Senor Magnifico’s nephews—or is it grandnephews? my informant could not quite recall—are doing a thriving business in protectjng»United States military draft evaders in Manana—Manana has become a veritable haven for yellow feathers with money enough to get to Manana and pay Senor Magnifico’s

dent of the "Sydney Morning HenliK ilngton.l -A

nephews well enough to protect-th*» from extradition. Viva la Guemp But then, this extradition busy* is altogether nonsensical. For?j? stance, there is the case of Jjj j Archibald Mulch, noted Amafe, capitalist (ci-divant), who escaped Manana when the United Stab, authorities were about to throw n, into gaol for cheating the Treasury* possibly a million dollars in taxes. Mr Mulch’s was a troubles®* case; but Senor Magnifico, just difficult cases—a change in ; .£pS? dition law was passed maki-Qajs payment of income taxes a ditable offence in Manana. now pays taxes to Senor Magnifia personally, but living in the beaute city of Benevolencia is hardly as uj. pleasant as a four-year "stretch” « Atlanta penitentiary in the Unite States would be. *“?'■■■ A Word to the Wise > ’ 8 Recently a minor scandal occufcd in Manana. It mortified all rifa Mananaites who are jealous of. ft good name of their country. It appfb that the American given president Moneda of Manantt list of the Axis subversive agenty'S work in Manana. That list was being offered for sale tp.k. terested parties. Any subversive ngtt) with nous enough to recognise hit name on the list would be - able to «t across the border from Manana, ‘anil so, no concentration camp The American diplomatic authbritltt were very much annoyed by the inej. dent, but then. ... .• Farbenindustrie I.G. is a Geram leviathan of industry, known to'al the world. One of its subsidiaries making an innocuous drug good f« headaches, is firmly entrenched,, hj Manana (as where not?). When at lit advice of the United States GoVenment President Moneda decided freeze the assets of all Axis-bijrtej firms in Manana, by a curious cpipi dence, the headache powder firm;, wilt millions of pesetas in counts in Manana, two daysin'adVtoa had all these accounts transferred (to the firm of Hernandez and a 100 per cent. Manana firm, who* assets nobody in Manana could freest Incidentally, for the payment off* t te of 2 per cent, to one of SenonMainifico’s numerous nephews, any Am firm can have its frozen fufidsyai* frozen. Then there is the small matter'd American automobiles. Instantly opeffif entry'of the United States into the the sale of all i automowta to private persons was I’jfpJ hibited. However, Mananifel loyal and necessary neighbour.-.comi not be treated the same way,Bs'*jps> dinary common variety Americans® zen living in, say. Paducah, Kentuoy, who has about as much chance o£«|tting a certificate of automobile these days ap he hu htihfc coming the Grand Lama orapbet. Hence, President Moneda tfa&jroa what amounted to an unlimitjwuwl! of certificates of necessity States automobiles. And soon Mp tiful city of Benevolencia and-.omen of the republic’s many were ornamenting their trafßcfSHa; fine new American cars that Attijnclw could remember, but now na.Twttf: Permits at a Priea ; .4^^p ; 1 As one would already infer feosSffl, account, Senor Magniflco's, : inflijjap»ii. truly pervasive. Take the ish refugees who arrive One of Senor Magnifico’s ngro<gjß|to;' pears on board the vessel his hand; and he checks ffldß Aaßft the names oil that list. This TSbE|| this name are supposed- to*sP:’ brought with them 5000 dollars'aaij;' embarkation permit will,, tmgejffi cost-2000 dollars. Add so on', .aroiwfc;; The degree of co-operation Manana consuls - - abroad ■ aid' Magnifico’s nephews at'momettfcfj monumental piece of When Senor Magnifico mov«jJ| moves with his “plstoleros his side. He personally; doesnt arms. His and, as a consequenpe, his boOTdJin}| is known as the "pistoleros. 1 American industrial company -MWBIf friend of Senor Magnifico presenting him with an tomobile worth 30.00Q dollars. tenth of its value. Senor MWB®; likes polo ponies, too, and I'fiJhlWr that this partiality is shared by JMm of his nephews. The family sequence, possesses many polo wm* stables, the gifts of foreign . But then the Magmficos in mmmi collateral line like many kipdsofj«»*| Take bullfighting. Senor Mag® owns a large share in Benevol«W| truly magnificent Corrida a? He is also the principal owner M equally magnificent Rancho Wjjff from which the famous bulls come^, be magnificently killed m the to the great pleasure of the volencians, who, in their tnousawlove the sport as much as the fleos do.