GOOD STORIES.

Press, Volume LXI, Issue 18462, 17 August 1925, Page 8

GOOD STORIES.

TOLD BY TRAMWAY MEN. GENERAL MANAGER'S NOTEBOOK. Some good tramway stories wefo told bv Mr Frank Thompson, general manager for tho Christchurc-li Board, in a lecturo given beforo tho W.E.A. on Saturday night. The lecture itself was most informativo. *' On one occasion," said Mr Thompson, "one of our motormen ran into a traction-engine with such force that the foro part of tho engino was broken off completely, although the tram-car was not as badly damaged as one would suppose. The collision cost the Board £ 100. The motorman, •in his report, described the circumstances of tho accident in detail, and then ho added, 'Suddenly I saw that traction-engine coming at mo broadsido on.' That was how it appeared to him." Another similar story: A lady was going to the Show Grounds, and asked the conductor "Is this car going to tho Show Grounds?" "Yes," replied the conductor. "But are you sure?" "Yes." "But it does not say so on the side." "No, madam; wo do not travel sideways.'' The Wrong Baby. Another story told by Mr Thompson was of a personal experience of his own. He was speaking on tho extraordinary forgetfulness of people in leaving items of property in tho cars. "Pushcarts," ho said, "aro frequently left behind. Can you understand how it is that any one can take a baby on tho tram, and when going off leavo tho push-cart behind? I asked one man that question, and he said 'The trams travel so slow that the push-carts are | not. wanted at the end of the journey." Mr Thompson then related tho wrongi baby comedy. "I was in a crowded I car that stopped at Aldwin's road," he said. "The car was running late, and I assisted the conductor in getting tho peoplo off at the stop. A' woman got off, and I noticed a littlo boy looking at her very earnestly. I picked him up and dropped him to the ground beside the lady, but when the car started again there was a terrible hullabaloo from inside. I then discovered, to my horror, that I had put off the wrong youngster." Punching the Pass. "As you know," said Mr Thompson, "tho Board gives its officers a metal token as a pass, which they carry On theif watch-chain or in their watchpocket. During the go-slow period I heard a new conductor ask another, 'What about tho General Managor's pass 1 ? Do you mako him show it?' The second conductor read from the rule book 'Every pass on presentation, and after careful inspection, has to bo efficiently punched,' and then replied to the new man, 'That I suggest is what you should do.' " ''Somebody's Mother.'' Another story was quite good. "An clderlj' lady," said Mr Thompson, "puffed along to a tram stop, but the motorman did not notice her, and tho car passed by. The conductor, howover, saw her, and stopped the car some little distauco from the proper stop. The ladj' clambered on board, and started slanging the conductor for not stopping before. The conductor remained absolutely silent, and the longer ho remained silent the moro angry and voluble the lady got. Finally, Bhe said, 'Do you know that I am Mr So-and-So'a mother?' mentioning the namo of a well-known resident. Then ths conductor broko silence. 'Don't worry about that, madam,' ho said, 'I won't tell anybody.' " "Will Walk Home." A racecourse experience: Mr Thompson said that on one race day ho went out to the course about 5 o'clock to see how the return loading was progressing. There was a young fellow at the siding, well-dressed but very much tho worse for liquor, who could not make up his mind to board a car until tho car had started, and then he was prevented by tfhe inspectors. Ho was giving tho men a lot of trouble, and at last Mr Thompson wont uj> to him. "Ho did not know who I was," said the General Manager, "tyut when I told him ho became very abusive concernlng the inspectors, and said, 'lf you don't put those inspectors in their place I will go and walk home.' " The Needle's Eye. In some of the older cars the doorway behind the motorman is very narrow, and Mr Thompson had a good story to tell. "On one of those cars," he said, a conductor found a portly old military gentleman tightly wedged in the Barrow doorway just as tho car was about to start again. He pulled him, a ncl rang the bell for tho car to proceed, and theSfl went up to collect the tare. The old gentleman was fuming, and the conductor, in surprise, asked, 'What is the matter? Didn't I help you through*' 'You did that,' responded the passenger, 'but I want to get out!' ■that old gentleman had a grievance against us for a long time afterwards."