WIT AND POLITICS.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIX, Issue 230, 29 September 1938, Page 20

WIT AND POLITICS.

ELECTION HUMOUR.

SHOTS FROM THE HUSTINGS.

'ADAM'S APPLE' AND SECURITY

A ready answer was found by Mr. H. T. Merritt, National candidate for Auckland East, when answering the question of a lady at Devonport laet night ae to why he declared the whole of the social security scheme bad when the National party was adopting part of it. "If an apple is rotten in part, I don't e<it any of it," lie declared. The idea of t lie social security scheme was good, lint he did not like the Labour Government s plan for it. "Adams apple," came a voice. "YOU CAN'T TAKE IT." Returned soldier, to crowd at Mr. J. A. Uovan's (National) meeting at Grey Lynii: See, you can't take it. Loud Voice: We'll take you to pieces if you don't get off that p"latform THE WIVES OF SOLOMON. The marriage age was at is*ue in the rieiideivon Town Hall when Mr. Maxwell S. Walker. National party candidate for Auckland Suburbs, was speaking. The niiirritigc age in New Ztnland was too old, J,e said. "Co back as far ils K '"i times and you will see tho pnx.f of what J say; it's wrong, and I could show it from other civilisations. A Voice (drily): What about Solomon! FRIENDSHIP FIRST. "I will always place friendship before political opinions," stated Mr. V. A. Coyle, deputy-Mayor of Mount who acted as chairman for Mr. A. S. Richards, Government member for Roskill, at Sandringham. Mr. Coyle explained that though he took a prominent part in National party affairs in the electorate, he had always been a firm friend of Mr. Richards. That was why he was occupying the chair. "Complete agreement would not be possible in polities, indeed it is just as well there cannot be," said Mr. Kit-hards, thanking the chairman. He was proud to seo that friendship could be placed on a higher plane than political issues.

"SCRIM" AND THE NATIONALISTS.

'"What about 'Scrim' V Mr. D. Pool was asked at his meeting in the Epsom Library. His reply was emphatic. "You know what we will do about 'Scrim'— there is no doubt about that at all," said the candidate. He added, by way of good measure, that the commercial broadcasting stations were supposed to be run on business lines, 'but were a loss from start to finish, involving further taxes on the people. THANKED HER OPPONENTS. It seems a little strange—before the election at any rate —for a candidate to offer sincere thanks to the opposing party. Yet this is what happened in the Remuera library hall when Mrs. M. M. Dreaver, Labour candidate for Remuera. opened her address. She held up a full-page National party advertisement that was a direct appeal to women, and she said she took that as a great honour to herself. Her opponents feared, ehe added,, that a woman was going to capture from them what had been one of their strongest seats. "But they are appealing to the women a little too late.' , Mrs. Dreaver declared. "They failed to pay them the compliment of putting forward a woman candidate themselves." THE AUDIENCE SCORES. "In this cricket match there is a second innings—and it is yours," said Mr. H. A. Anderson, Mayor of Mount Albert, and chairman at Mr. A. S. Bailey's meeting last night, in introducing question time. "This is where we bowl the candidate out," said a voice at the back.

HIS SHARE. Insurance company statistics showed that every child born in New Zealand had an expectation of 57.12 years of life, said Mr. H. T. Merritt (National, Auckland East), speaking at Devonport in criticism of the social security scheme. "At that rate," he added, "there is little prospect of anyone getting to superannuation age." HARD TO FIND. When Mr. Donald Pool, the National candidate for Eden, told his audience in the Epsom library Hhat there was much discontent among farmers because of the so-called guaranteed price and the fact that the public works offered £5 a week to workers against £2 12/6 for farm workers, a man in the audience asked, "Have you ever found a happy farmer? They are always crying." The candidate replied that the Socialist Government had made the farmer cry more than ever before.''

"THE OLD GANG." "The old gang said that, too," cried a voice, when, at Devonport, Mr. H. T. Merritt, National candidate for Auckland East, declared that a National Government would not reduce wages or salaries, or increase weekly -working hours, but would attempt to reduce .taxation? "The' old gang?' 1 'doft't know whom you mean," said Mr. Merritt, "but we know what 'the new gang" will do." WHO WILL BE DONE? Candidate: The National party just wants to do .... Crowd: We know —us! —Mr. J. A. Govan's meeting at Grey Lynn.