RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue 150, 26 June 1937, Page 26 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS.

(By "ZAMIEL.")

"Sure," said the old sailor, "I knowthat fellow. He used to sleep in the next bunk to me in church."

A famous American boxer is to broadcast and tell of his plans for future fights. A kind of Scrapbook for 1937.

The laziest man we know is the one who last week bought one of the first model cars to save the trouble of shaking- the ash from his cigarette.

It is claimed that playing the bagpipes is a euro for asthma in its early stages. But there is no cure for playingthe bagpipes once it has got a firm hold.

As the Springboks will shortly be playing football in Auckland it is opportune to mention that a refugee is not a man who keeps the players in order.

A vacuum-cleaner salesman who was charged with causing annoyance recently gave his name as Wolf. It seems that he just couldn't be kept from the door.

An explorer demonstrated a radio set to a tribe of savages in a remote part of Central Africa. It soon dawned on the natives that they weren't nearly remote enough.

A Michigan wife told the Court her husband listened all night to the radio and was cross in the morning. Maybe he got up on the wrong side of the bedlam.

"Once a road V» laid down properly," says a building expert, "it shouldn't be taken up in a hurry." It isn't; the authorities spend months and months on the job.

It is reported that eggs art used as currency in Armenia. It must be a messy job getting cigarettes out of a <lot machine over there.

The latest invention is a mechanical contrivance to assist tree-climbing. But no doubt the more harum-scarum type of motorist will continue to use his car for this purpose.

And there is no truth in the statement that the chap who won the high jump at a recent athletic meeting is the same chap who fixed the prices for the approaching Springbok matches.

It has heen suggested in America that children should be paid for going to school. It would cost a lot of money in New Zealand under the Labour Government's legislation covering pay for home work.

Did you notice after the bunk holiday on King's Birthday and the victory of Trish Comet in the Great Northern Steeplechase that many normally peaceful citizens suddenly became quick on the draw?

Naturalists who go for long rambles in the country, we read, are generally the healthiest people. Although, of course, they are prone to attacks of ear-strain at the commencement of the cuckoo season.

And for the benefit of many people let us say now there is no connection whatever between art exhibits and the excellent studies in still life presented by the players at the recent chess tournament in Auckland.

Judging by the reception jriven to some of the decisions in boxing contest* in Auckland it's a good thing the scrap between David and Goliath was not stased here or the big fellow mignt have received the decision.

Employee: I've been here for four weeks and am doing three men's work for one man's pay. Now I want a rise.

Employer: I'm sorry. I can't give you a rise risht now, but tell me who the other two men are and I'll fire, them.

It is hard to believe that the sweet girl who used to blush and hesitate when you ofTored hor a box of chocolates before marriage is the same one who now grabs your wages immediately you get inside the door on Fridays.

It is reported that a baby with five arms has been born in Cairo. The Auckland Football Association is said to be considering adopting the little chap with a view to training him to be goal-keeper next time an English Soccer team comes out this way.

After a burglary in a Yorkshire house it was found that the only footprints in the snow outside were tracks leading towards the building. Xo notice was taken of a. young constable's bright suggestion that the intruder burrowed his way in underground and left by running backwards- so as to confuse the trail.