"HELLO, MATRIMONY !"

Auckland Star, Volume LXXIII, Issue 37, 13 February 1937, Page 2 (Supplement)

"HELLO, MATRIMONY !"

At the Automatic Telephone School in C'ovent Garden, London, they train recruits to deal with bad-tempered, selfish men and women who tend to make the telephone girl's life a burden. Xo girl passes the test of an operator unless she is able to keep her patience and answer politely, no matter how oft<>n she is shouted at. "It is a wonderful training in self-control and character and, I am told, a fine preparation for married life," said one of the would-be operators.

If you enn " switch 'em on" when nil about j-nu Arc busy, ringing every telephone; If yon enn dial right when others doubt you, Anil 101 l you w> In no uncertain tone; If you can answer every cull politely, >>"o mutter if (he questioner may jeer; If you enn voice your information brightly And never ring some " nuisance" in Hie ear;

If you can always get the proper number, When someone garbles n familiar name; If you can keen cool us a cucumber, Though what llic.v say to you is "just a fliiiiiic"; If you can calm some angry consternation And fell them what they really want to know; ' If you can use a honeyed modulation With each recurring musical "Hello!"

If you can check all idle conversation Ami click " lOngagcd " to every would-be flirt; If yon can give some friendly explanation When someone feels they're just a little hurt; ■ If you can soothe some querulous dyspeptic Who threatens to report you to "the head "; If you enn charm the cynic nnd the sceptic Who " don't believe a single word" you've said ;

If you can be a model of attention, A paragon of courtesy ami tact; If you have common sense and comprehension, . Some lucky man will realise the fact; You'll get a " ring," he'll wish to " see you later" . ■ » When you are. free from" telephonic whirl: Too true, you'll lie u llrst-class operator— What's more, you'll make a real good wife, my girl. —B.A.