RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LXXIII, Issue 37, 13 February 1937, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS.

(By ZASIIEL.)

Mussolini now holds eight Cabinet posts. That makes him a quorum.

"Minister Keeps Promise" —heading in lneal daily. That's news, nowadays, is it!

Hobby for wet holidays: Trying to explain to the wife what the Government's policy is.

Real estate is "going up" in Spain, too. Isnt that is the result of a "boom" of a different sort.

Strange, but the Irish seem to be the only people who enn agree amongst themselves these davs.

"Friendly Divorce. Wife Granted £ 10,000 a Year," runs the heading on a cable par. Palimony!

Tlio Minister of Labour has said that a woman should get a man's pay. Show us the- wife that doesn't!

Papua is still the least civilised place in the- world. They haven't a single poison gas factory there yet,

"There are no short-cuts to success," remarks a professor, Auckland taxidrivers are well aware of this.

Waihi idyll: He worshipped the ground she walked on —when they went for a stroll over her father's claim.

An historian has discovered that women used cosmetics in the Middle Ages. They still use cosmetics in the middle ages.

Herd tests reveal that caltlc apparently don't mind hearing folks call each other "cows." They presumably think that a compliment is intended.

Many a man is still wearing his old school tic, only because he has to choose between that and the one Aunt Agatha sent him for Christmas.

"It can bo a Christian duty to kill," declares the Archbishop of York. Have those wretched choir bo.vs been bringing drawing pins to church again, your Grace ? 0 A contemporary, the- other day. published side by eido the season's "tote" figures and the sentences passed on several Chinese caught gambling. Hardly tactful, eh? "British shipyards are too busy to build .1 submarine for Sir Hubert Wilkins." His sub., you see, Is designed only to. increase men's knowledge.

Cabled tbe other day that an inventor had perfected a process for making snlistances absolutely non-inflnmmable. ]iut our firewood merchant lias known that secret for vears.

It is reported that the late Sir Basil Zaharoff, "the armaments king," left only about £2,000.000. Promoting wars is not such a profitable undertaking when the combatants refuse to pay their war debts.

Once again the Honours List lias come out without anyone named Day mentioned in it, so we are still waiting for an opportunity to revive the old one about turning Day into Knight.

Still hearing murmurs of an agitation against the nude statue on the Domain gates, wo feet moved to remark that the best argument for the said statue are the clothed ones in Albert Park.

Scientists are reported to have perfected a drug known as scopolamine, under the influence of which people can speak only the truth. Let's hope the wife never gets hold of any of it.

Thought inspired by the "preparedness campaign" in England:— Gnthcr y<; rnwbmlK while jre may, For limp briiiKK only sorrow. The j,'irls you might have kissed to-day May be In pis masks to-morrow.

One of the minions of the Commissioner of Tuxes declares thot anyone who can read can understand an income (ax form. That is the sort of thiiifr that makes you regret that you ever learned to read at all.

"Dr. Mnsaryk. of Czechoslovakia, once said it was the British Empire's mission to teach tln- world coniinniiscnse," says Sir Samuel Iloare. The complimentary Dr. if. has not, apparently, met the sort of people we meet every day.

The Bishop of London declares that lie would rather die than see bombs dropping nn children while lie stood liv doing nothing. Well, it's usually considered against the rules for bishops to join in, but lie might try Spain, where they seem to have waived most of the rules.