RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue 31, 6 February 1937, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS.

I (By "ZAMIEL.")

A dilemma: Two vegetarians with a bone of contention. One man who can always make ends meet—a hoop manufacturer. In playing a ukulele, I am informed, it is the" little pings that count. I Well, we can at least say that we are having a fairly mild winter this sumCruelty! We have heard of a. man who gave .1 small boy a cake of soap for I his birthday. I Little Audrey docs not like classical dancing. She considers it, in fact, a] ballet nuisance. The Hon. W. Xiuh is to receive the freedom of Kidderminster. Pronounced "Kid a. Minister?" A huso cloud of vapour hns been seen rising from WJiite Island. Which Minister is visiting there? "Beef Still High" reads a heading in Wednesday's paper. Surely not, in these! days of efficient refrigeration. "Very few film stars succeed in marrying happily." states a Hollywood writer. But they try, try, try again. Reported that a London sandwichman can earn as much as £2 a week. With his board thrown in, of course. Reported that the Hon. W. Xash has received an invitation to visit Ireland. | Does the Blaniev Stone want to kiss him ? The Moscow sabotage trial was definitely beyond argument. We did not meet anyone who would pronounce tiie j

We enter the controversy over the pronunciation of Maori place names to ask "Js To Hapua pronounced 'eiviliThey arc still wondering in Europe how to get the seconds out of the ring, so that the Spaniards can get on with their fight. To conserve live stock, German sausages arc to contain a larger proportion of bread. Poor Fritz isn't allowed to make both ends meat. A neighbour of ours felt called upon the other day to give his wife a lecture in economy—with the result that he hurt had to give up smoking. Farmers are reported to be apprehensive of a shortage of fodder fur the winter. They fear that thin stock sales will be held nt Westficld. Mr. do Valera is urging that steps he taken toward a united Ireland. It is suggested that the abolition of Donnybrook Fair will be the first step.

A magistrate has ruled that it is quite legal to play bridge for money amongst friends. This is the first time we have heard that bridge can be a friendly game. Insurance clerks are demanding the right to many irrespective of their employers' permission. Well, here's a local industry that actually doesn't want protection! An Italian astrologer who recently foretold the- end of the world in 1937 has retracted his statement. It is understood that Mussolini refused to sanction' the event. Some, concern is expressed for the safety of certain school buildings. ]t is found that floors that stood up quite well under "the three KV are rather too flimsy for tap-dancing. One of Hiiile Silassie's chieftains captured by the Italians, has been exiled to the Isle of Capri. "She wore a plain golden ring on her finger" must sound rather quaint, crooned in Aniharic. We are quite ready to agree with the English visitor who" says that X.Z.-ers are living i,, a fool's paradise. Any democracy must be a fool's paradise, since it strives for "the greatest good fur the greatest number." J.M. (Mount Albert) nends in a list of a dozen or so mixtures that he has eradicate dandelion*, and asks 'what he should do now. . We can only susgest that he learn to love them.

A Javanese of Tpoh. Federated Malay States, claims to be 100 years old. and says that he saw natives cut the throat of the first Briton who landed in Malaya. But. of course, as lie hasn't seen the All lilacks, "he ain't really