CRITIQUE.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVI, Issue 46, 23 February 1935, Page 2 (Supplement)

CRITIQUE.

I Joyce Greenhalgh—"The Little Poet" was a "B" standard story, but was not quite good enough to publish. Be care- ! ful not to use the same word too orten, ! Joyce. For instance, in this story you have the word "excited" three times In just a few lines, IVloliy Elliott—An unusual story, Molly, and quite good, although not up to publication standard. Could you write about something nearer ' home, something, that would be familiar to everyone? Joan Skinner—A well-written story, but try to ilnd a less hackneyed theme, Joan. Also be careful not to use slang in serious paragraphs. Nyra Douglas—Write only on one side of the paper, Nyra, and be very careful or your spelling. If you watch that, your next story will be much better than "A Big Surprise," which was only "C." Esme Peacocke—"Tragedy Averted" is not the type of story usually published in the Budget, lisme. Try to write something lighter and more for children of the Budget age. (ris Ponnyfather—Rather a sad story. Iris, and although not up to publication standard, it was written in quite a pretty style. Henry Davey—Your story, "Conquered," was built on quite a good idea. Henry, but you must learn to punctuate carefully. and try to make your sentences shorter. A "C" story. Vera Fell—A neatly-written story, Vera, ■which, we have marked "B." Try to find a more original subject.

Patricia O'Brien—Your "Sunset" was very pretty, Patricia, but why not write about a sunset from a hill nearer home instead of the far away Rockies?

June Hunt—You chose an original subject in "The Old Apple Tree," and it was a well-written essay for an eleven-year-old. Do you think that you could make up another story about the tree, trying to make your sentences shorter this time?

"C" Grade Stories—lf the following people read very carefully, and remember their rules of spelling and grammar, they wtu soon be able to write stories up to 'B standard and worthy of publication, hemember to always write on one side of the paper only, boys and girls. Tbe stories written by the following people have been grouped together under "C" grade;—o ga Maseman, Gisborne; Mary Hetcher, Hula; Ethel Hodson, Manurewa; Patricia Keogh, Mount Albert; Elizabeth H.irtnell; Sheila Lane, Mount Eden; !\oreen White, Ponsonhy; Betty Broyd, T„ olint o AllJei-t; Phyllis Worsnop, Mangere; Joan Swartz, Cambridge; E. Bourchier, Newmarket; Mercedes Moss. Matamata.

Nancy Harvey—"White Ladies" 13 rather a vague story, Nancy, and was not connected enough. "King Winter" was f 00(1 ®nd written in an original manner. It will be printed.

Earle White—An exciting story, Earle, but you must watch your grammar and punctuation, if you are careful of these things, you could soon write a story up to publication standard.

Gladys Wilson—Quite a pretty little story, Gladys. It shows your Interest In our busli. Try to make your sentences shorter, and less rambling in your next tale, won't you?