THE VISITOR.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIV, Issue 261, 4 November 1933, Page 3 (Supplement)

THE VISITOR.

STAYING IN SUBURBIA. SUPERIORITY OF ENGLISH SYSTEM (By J. HAMMERTOE.) The Englishwoman who issues invitations to her guests acquainting them with the fact that she expects them by the 4.40 on Friday, followed by a suggestion of departure by the 11.15 on Tuesday, knows nothing of the perils and strain and stress encountered by the New Zealand hostess.

To start with, many people here don't wait for an invitation to stay, they believe in the good old hospitable colonial idea of asking themselves—probably a reflection of pioneering days. "The ever open door" may sound very noble in theory, but in practice it is a different affair altogether. For many reasons it is often not i.i the least convcii cut, but for fear of giving offence, and the thought of what, people might say, the reasons are seldom . voiced, and the visitors descend, so you change the milk older and hope for the best.

As the average New Zealand home is scantily supplied with outside help, so with the usual housework to do unaided (j.'lus extra cooking and catering, you feel it necessary to form an entertainment committee for the visitors. Generally they hail from the country or a provincial towu, so look forward to sampling everything our largest cities offer. If there is one it is not so ruinous, if two, a slight strain on a probably slender purse, if three, the bankruptcy court looms in sight! Second "bugbear. Your house is usually of the suburban bungalow type, constructed for the comfort of two or three people, not half a dozen. There is no room to get away from each other, tho electric hot water supply peters out with the extra demand on its system; generally there has to be a reorganisation of beds and rooms, and someone has to say there is nothing so comfortable to sleep on as a couch. Of course there is the perfect guest, the one we love to ask, and for whom nothing is any trouble to do, but he or she is rare. There are those who never offer to do anything to help, or if they do you wish they hadn't. There are the big cooked breakfast-morning tea varietv, when you only partake of toast and marmalade. Those who always have dinner at night when you have it mid-day, and forget to say they feel sure if'they had it mid-day for a change their digestions would be much benefited. There are the late-sitters, when you are longing for bed at 9 p.m. Then there are a certain class who never want to

"■o anywhere or see anybody in particular/and say all they want to do is just to sit and talk.

However, the biggest hurdle in entertaining for the New Zealand hostess is that nine times out of ten her visitors have no decided ideas about their time of departure, or if they have they forget to voice them until the last minute, often causing their hostess much unnecessary wear and tear, mentally and physically. The English method of issuing invitations to stay may sound a cold and cut-and-dry business to us, but it is often a form of protection from "unbidden hordes of relations and friends, a security that we do not know and often long for, especially in these times of much depleted incomes. Part of our education should he the art of visiting. We could learn how not to overstay our welcome, not to take for granted that it is always convenient to plank ourselves indefinitely on "relations and friends when it' suits us. Remember to ask ourselves the question, '"Will it suit them?" not. the question, "Will it suit us?" After all nobody can know everything of the lives and business of others, even of those we know best, and the better we know them the more careful we should be not to infringe on their privacy and hospitality, and not let familiarity swallow up all courtesy.