DAYS OF THE DANDIES.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIV, Issue 261, 4 November 1933, Page 3 (Supplement)

DAYS OF THE DANDIES.

MY LORD'S TOILET.

Times have changed, hut how much they have changed we do not understand till we delve into the realms of the past. Here is an account of the life of a fifteenth century aristocrat. Told by his valet. Contrast it with the life, for instance, of our own Prince of Wales.

Getting my lord up in the morning was a lengthy and exacting performance. His linen must be clean and warmed at a clear fire, in front of which a cushioned chair must be ready standing, and another cushion for his feet. When the valet had everything ready, he then prayed his lord "in humble words" to come to the fire and dress —or rather to allow himself to be dressed, for he was not supposed to do anything for himself. His well-aired stomacher must be put on, his tunic held out, his stockings drawn up, his shoes buckled, and his hair combed "with an ivory comb." Then, having laid ready the appropriate robe, the valet ran to the church to see that "all things for the pew be made Teady, and forget not cushion, carpet, curtain, beads, or book."

The valet did not himself stay for Mass. He ran back to the bedroom again, heat the feather mattress, made the bed with clean sheets, spread the coverlet over it, and made up the fire. Then he turned his attention to the wardrobe, brushed the clothes "with a> soft brush," and saw to it that no woollens or furs had gone seven days unshaken, "for moths be always ready to alight in them and engender."

If getting his lord out of hed and off to Mass in the morning was exacting, the valet might comfort himself with the thought that worse was to come at bedtime, especially if it was my lord's bath night. A bath took a deal of preparing. "Hang sheets round the roof, everyone full of flowers and sweet green herbs, and have five or six sponges to sit or lean upon." Other sponges as well had to be there, one for his feet and an extra big one under a sheet for him to sit on. Well might the author add "if there be any to spare." Who is nowadays luxurious as to want seven sponges for one bath? There had to be a basin of hot herbs ready and a supply of warm rosewater to sluice over the body when it had been washed, a job which, of course, was the valet's. His master, it would seem, thought more of an atmospheric than an honest water bath, with his warm herbs and rosewater. When the bath was over the valet was bidden "wipe him dry with a clean cloth, and take him to bed to cure his troubles."

To get the bed ready for its exalted and lazy occupant was a task requiring hard work and a nice, judgment. There must be a cushion at the small of the back to keep off the cold, a scented pillow, a nightcap to be wound' "in seemly fashion," the waxen night-light to be set ready and lit. Presently my lord came in, steaming and scented from his aromatic bath, threw himself down in the chair before the fire, and meditated whilst his hair was combed. At last .he-climbed into bed, unaided for once, and on his own legs, while his valet drew the curtains around him. Then, when he had driven out the "dog and the cat, giving them a clout," he bowed low and retired, having "thanks and reward whensoever it fall." Perhaps he was made of sterner stuff than Jeeves, for certainly that redoubtable and suave worthy would not have endured such a day.