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NEWS TIT-BITS.

"When an important step is to ba taken a man asks. "What shall I say?" —a woman, •'What shall I put on?"

"Did you have a solicitor?" asked the judge of a witness at fShoreditch County Court. "No, he had me," was the reply.

Eleven pages of casual correspondence written by fihpriey brought £:iG9 at Sotheby's, and letters of Byron, covering seven pages, realised £Bl. A contemporary mentions a case beyond the ordinary oculist. It is that of a young lady who, instead of a pupil, has a college student in her eye. Mr Robert Spooner died -at Leamington, Canada, at the age <rf 113. He was born in England in 1798, end came to Canada when ten years old.

After the evidence kad been given against a man at Greenwich, he said, "1 can't hear, but I deny every word that's said."

Mr. Keir Hardie thinks thai men wil) eventually return to wearing the Roman toga. But will Socialism leave us even as much as that?

It was a foolish person "who «aid that "true happiness is found in pursuing something, not in catching it." The wise man who chases his straw hat on a windy day knows better. A Frenchman has just fceen tried is Paris lor stealing £I2OO worth of stamps. If he'd! stolen the whote of thai new issue of ours no jury wordd have convicted him, says an English writer.

"Sons-in-law and mothers-in-law find many IrHle points of disagi cement," said the Tottenham magistrate the-otber day. law, who'd a thought it? Fact is stronger Chan day!

An Italian ice-cream vendor told the Mortlake magistrates reoenfiy that he had been in Enghmd for fmu Lewi years, and that the only EngjJBJMK t ooM speak was "Half a pint of fceer" and a "Bit of bread."

firemen conquer (blaze *y playing*he hose on burning pianos, »-♦ newspaper heading that caught obt eye. Pity they can't be round at tines to play the hose on a few players. A Georgia man says he beat bis wife in the belief that it -would one her of-a chronic ailment. This may strike some married men as an ideal way of «ombming business-and pleasure. During the year 1909-10 the water supplied by the London Metropolitan Water Board totalled gallons, the average daily supply per head of the estimated popm*tk>u being 31.87 gallons.

It is rumoured that an 'American combine which is planning the new palatial hotel in Hyde Park, London, have offered a million sterling for the site and building of St. George's Hospital at Hyde Park corner. One of the customs of "the opera season at Oovent Garden is that the men members of the chorus must be cleanshaven, and their contract includes an allowance of 1/6 per -week for barber's expenses.

Although provided with a stinging apparatus, a swarm of black bce3 from Jamaica which have just been added to the London Zoological Gardens never sting. Wherefore they are called angelitos.

People wishing to die cheaply should go to Le Zoute, Knock-sur-Mer, Belgium, which advertises "breezy dunes. Finest natural 1 8-hole golf links on Continent. Good hotels, golf clubs. Eng. church. No death duties."

Deep down in every woman's heart is the craving to be wanted by some one, the desire to be found necessary to some one. And, not having gods and angels to pick from, she is content with man.

The largest known bird's egg is that of the extinct aepyornis of Madagascar, of which the museum of New York has now a specimen. It has a capacity of two gallons, measures 26 inches round the middle, and the shell is l-Bin thick. The largest egg of a Irving bird is that of the ostrich, which is equal to- about 36 hens' eggs.

"The famous epitaph placed on tho monument over her basband's grave by a woman up in Maine, 'Rest in peace until I join you,' has almost a dnpiieata in a sign on the door-of a doctor's office in a downtown office building,*' say* George .A. Schneider. "This sign reads* "Do not absolutely abandon hope until you have seen me.'"

An American Consular report Bays that in Germany 9,400:000, Prance 0,800,000, Austria 5,600*000 and England 5,300,000 women are employed in manufactures and trades. To every 100 workmen in Austria there axe 42 women, France 34, Italy 32, Germany 30, Switzerland 39, England 24, end Sweden. 21. The telephone -exchange girl is doomed; not immediately, but'at a period defined by the term "when ttoe last of them has left to get married." The British Postmaster - General's representatives

have 'been nSaking searching inquiries m An>erica as to the automatic switchboard, and the official exchange at St. Ma.Ttin*s-le-<Jra.Ti<i, -which, connects Jbhe various postal departments in London. is to be fitted with the new contrivance. '.to save himself from loss of time caused by callers who are a long while in coming to the point, a Parfe functionary has pnt on his office table a card bearing the words:- —"Be so good as to abstain from speaking of my health, or the weather, or of the Bourse quotations, three subjects with which I am perfectly well acquainted. Start at once on the matter that brings yon here." An odd story of a dream of ill-omen comes from Sunderland. A young shipyard labourer dreamed that he would •be killed in the yard on Friday, and therefore he did not go to work. In the afternoon he wpnt to bathe in the river Wear, and, getting into deep water, was drowned before help could reach him. The efforts of his companions to save him were unavailing, through the swiftness of the current. The increased demand for human Tiair in 1010 attained almost boom proportions, says a Canton Consular report. The export rose by 100 <pcr cent. The thief community of Canton took full advantage of the ri?c in price, and thy Police Court, columns of the native newspapers were filled with case? of grave riflinsr and prosecutions by persons who had involuntarily lost their queues whilst asleep.

When a married woman was summoned at Willesdrai recently for assaulting a man, she admitted she threw halfbricks and stones at hi:n. but she said that *he did so became he wis taking her plaee in her husband's life and home. "And I don't like it," she said, tearfnlly. She was asked to explain clearly what she meant, and she said that he made the beds, cleaned the house, and generally managed the home affairs. The magistrate: "Ajad what do you do?" Witness: "I can -do- 3taQaag=mSbaat bm authority."

Permanent link to this item

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/AS19110902.2.92

Bibliographic details

Auckland Star, Volume XLII, Issue 209, 2 September 1911, Page 15

Word Count
1,096

NEWS TIT-BITS. Auckland Star, Volume XLII, Issue 209, 2 September 1911, Page 15

NEWS TIT-BITS. Auckland Star, Volume XLII, Issue 209, 2 September 1911, Page 15

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