THE FUN WAS NOT OVER.

Auckland Star, Volume XVII, Issue 43, 20 February 1886, Page 5

THE FUN WAS NOT OVER.

The Veracious Account of a Wedding Down in Arkansas.

A very i_.to.Oß._ng wedding occurred ovor at Hock's Springs the othor night. Ben. Lother and Ida Grimes ran away from the neighbourhood where thoy had been reared, and applied to young Wilkinson, who recently accepted a call to preach. The arrival of tho runaway couplo soon became known,and quito a number of young poople gathorod at the schoolhouse whore the ceremony was to be performed. The preacher, upon arriving, called Bill Fellers' to one side and said : , " Bill, I couldn't refuse to accommodate that young couple, but to tell tbe truth I don't know how to perform a marriage ceremony. I was never married and I never saw anybody married, and I don't understand the performance." " I never saw anybody married, either," Bill replied, " and I don't bolievo -there's anybody here that understands it." "It won't do to disappoint thorn, for I understand the girl's father is in pursuit. Let's Bee; yon were commissioned as a Justice of the Peace the other day, weren't you?" " Ye 3, but the papers didn't ahed any light on mairiage ceremonies." "I don't know what to do about it," the young preacher continued. "They've begun to grow res'les., you see." " Well, parson, 1 don't understand it any moro than you, but I am willing, if you'll help me kill hogs next week, to take the job off your hands." " All right." Bill turned to tho company and said : "Ladies and gentlemen, we've met here to engage in a very serious business. This young couplo" (pointing) "think thoy ought to bo married, and it ain't for me to say they ought not. Young fellow, have you got your license ?" " Yes, sir." " All right. Hop out here, now." The young couple advanced. "Join hands," said Bill. " I would like to Bay that tho now ceremony just approved by tbe Governor has gono into effect. Those who have never aeon this ceremony performed will doubtloss be amused at its novelty, but I'll say right hero that all snickering will be treated as contempt of court. Young man, what is your business ?" "1 am a farmer," "Ah, hah ! How many rails can you split in a day!" " Four hundred in good timber." " Will you swear it ?" " Yes, sir," "Hold up your right hand." He hold up his hand nnd was sworn. Bill continued : " Aro you a good hand to cover corn ?" " Yes, sir." " Please say * yes, your honor.'" " Yes, your honor." " That's right. How much can you cover in a day ?" " Three acres, if the land's in good condition." " Will you swear it ?" " Yos, sir." " Yos, your honor." " Excuse me. Yes, your honor." " Hold up your right hand." And he was sworn again. . " What was tho weight of the largest bass you evor caught I"

" I don't remember exactly. About five pounds, I reckon." " Will you swonr it?" "No, your honor." "All right. Are you willing to marry this girl?" " Yes, your honor. If I want I wouldn't have brought her hero." " That's what I thought," Bill meditativoly replied. "You love her, I reckon ?" "Yos, your honor," " How much ?" "Oh, I don't know. Evor so much." " What did sho say when you asked her ?" "Sho said ' Yes.' " "Glad to henr it." "Now, young lady, will you ploaso advnnco and kiss tho judge?" Tho girl hesitated a moment, but alio stepped up and kissed Bill. " Bo yon lovo thia man '!" " Yes, Bir." " Yes, your honor." Tho girl corrected her mistake. "How much do you love him 1" " Lots." "Olad to hear it. Pleaso stop forward and kiss tho judge." Again Bho kissed him. "Remember that you aro undor oath. Did you over love anyone else ?" " Yos, your honor." " Why didn't you marry him ?" " Ho didn't aek me." " Please advanco and kiss the judge." " Look hero, Squire," said the little would-be-bridegroom, "I believe we'druther bo married the old way." " The old way is repealed. Young lady, how old are you ?" " Look horo, Judge," said the now impatient lover, "that's nono of your business." " Yes, it is. Young lady, you will please advanco and kiss tho judgo." " No, I'll be blamod if she shall I" ex claimed tho young man ; an' more than that, this thing has gono far enough, Now I want to ask ynu a fow quoetions. Don't move." Tho young follow whipped out a piatol, and Bill's knoes began to bump eaoh other. " Now juet stand there. Did you ever see a bi{.'gor liar than you are?" "No, Bir." "No, Colonel." " No, Colonel," Bill repeated. ' "Wouldn't you steal if you got a chanco ?" " Yes, Colonol."- ---" That's whntl thought. Now, confound you, lead us to a preacher's house pretty devilish quick. Como on, folks, tho full ain't over yot."