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Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume XXIV, Issue 2138, 26 March 1897, Page 2

I heard a very good little tale about an incident which occurred in orje o*" out suburban pubs a littl* ti>ne buck. A native of the Bmarald Isle, feeling very dry in consequence of the hot weather we have been bavin/, called into the said pub and called for a whisky Bonitaco duly responded to the request. The Irishman evidently thought the quantity in the glass rather below the average, and held it up and looked at it in a disappointed manner. Boniface : (reading bis thoughts) " You 6ep, that whisky i- sixteen years old " Irishman : lf Bedad, it it is it is very 6mall for its age."

Ihe minister being away for a holiday, the pulpit was supp|ied for the time by olher clergmen. One of these after the service, thought he would gauge the effect of his discourse by the opinion of that fair index of public feeling, John, 11 John the minister's man." li Well John did you like my sermon ?'' " I did sir." "It wasn't too long I hope ?" '• No, sir, it was just about richti" " Well now, John, I'm glad of that, for, to tell you a secret, when I was writing that sermon a favourite collie dog of mine bolted away with hnlf a dozen folios, and I hadn't time to .upply their place, so 1 was afraid the sermon would be too short." " Eh, man, is tbat a fact, I say, wud you mm saving yiu o' (hat dowg's pups for oor minister "