A "GOOD" HUSBAND.

Ashburton Guardian, Volume XXXVIII, Issue 9212, 5 February 1918, Page 8

A "GOOD" HUSBAND.

WHAT MAKES ONE? (By A BACHELOR.) The only good word that' has ever been said by ;i wife of a husband— and even that was strictly qualified— was by a charwoman who, asked by a coroner, " Was your husband a good husband?" replied, "Good! I should think' he ,was good. He was more like a friend, he was, nor a husband."

As a. bachelor, whom some of his friends think still, not too old to become a husband, I am anxious to learn what constitutes a "good" husband before 1 commit myself. My friends are of such varying temperaments that some of them ought to be "good" husbands. My friend Jones ought to bo a- "good" husband. I have, indeed, always looked upon him as a pattern, proper oven if painful, to be imitated by any bachelor entering matrimony. Jones catches the 9.3 every morning, works all day in his ofliee, catches the 0.9 for home, lias never been late for dinner, sits in his chair each evening till 10.30 (except on raid nights, when he sits in his. cellar until all is clear), reads the papers again to discover, if he can, what " giving them " menus, and then goes to bed. Incidentally, he keeps up a good homo, educates four children, dresses Mrs Jones, and puts something into war loans. But Jones is not a "good" husband. Mrs Jones told him so —pleasantly but quite pointedly —on the last occasion I dropped in upon Jones for a pipe together. Where Jones apparently fails in being a "good" husband is in his very Joneishness. There is too much of tho 9.3 and 6.9 about Jones to make him a "good" husband. " Fred thinks that life id clockwork, Mr Bachelor," purred Mrs Jones. My friend Brown is not a "good" husband. Mrs Brown told him" so, pleasantly but quite pointedly, on the last occasion 1 dropped in for a. nipe with Brown. Where Brown fails in being a "good" husband is in his Brownisimcss. There is too much irregularity about Brown to make a "good" husband. " You would hardly believe, Mr Bachelor," said his wife to me, while Brown scraped his pipe into the wastepaper basket, " what a difficult man he is to live with. One morning he comes down to breakfast at 8.30, the next morning at 9.30. One evening he comes in early and wants tea; the next evening he keeps dinner waiting an hour. One evening he wants to .talk when I want to read. Tho next evening he wants to read when I want to talk. One day he writes me an unexpected cheque, saying, 'Go out and buy yourself something nice ' ; the next day ho says, ' We must retrench.'

" No, Jack " —she turned to Brown, who had finished scraping his pipe and was tearing a leaf of)' a fashion journal for' a. pipe-spill—" you think that you'ai'o/a good husband, but you are not a 'good husband." Then there is my friend Robinsou. whoso wife says that she is a martyr to his golf mania; and my friend Smith, whoso wife says that she is a martyr to his not having a hobby, .such as golf; and my friend Green, whose wife says that the children come first in j his thoughts; and my friend Oliver, whose wife says that he is the sort of man who never ought to have had children ; and my friend Jenkins, whose | wife says that he is always at clubs; [ and my friend Perry, whose wife says that if only he would go about with i other men lie would broaden bis mind; land my friend Harper, whose wife says that he is always interested in other women, which is a poor compliment to her; and ray friend Blaker, whoso wife says that lie never recognises the existence of other women, which if a poor compliment to her; and tny friend Berry, whose wife says that no is so (irritable; and my friend Carter, whose wife says that he is so absurdly placid; p.nd my friend Bolton, whose wife says that his bride is his tobacco pipe; and •ny friend Lake, whose wife says that ho would be a better husband if he smoked, like other men; and my friend Vemon, whose wife says that he grudges her dress money; and my friend Walters, whose wife says that ho is always insisting that she shall be better dressed. And then there are the wives of many other of my friends, who say vaguely that their husbands are not "good" husbands because they aro " not like other husbands." What 1. want to know before, ruining some woman's life is. 'Whni- Tft a "good" husband ?■—" Daily Mail."