SMILES FOR THE DAY.

Ashburton Guardian, Volume XXXIII, Issue 8406, 7 November 1912, Page 6

SMILES FOR THE DAY.

England and Germany

Teacher:, " Billy, please give me a sentence in which the verbs 'to set' and 'to sit' are used correctly." Bill (after a brief deliberation) : " The British Empire is a country on which the sun never sets, and on which no other country ever sits."

"And now," said the teacher, "we come to Germany, that important country governed by a Kaiser. Tommy Jones, what is a Kaiser? " "Please, ma'am, a Kaiser is a stream of hot water springin' up an' disturbin' the earth." '

The Labour Unrest. Conspicuous among the few British industries that have not " come out" recently are the Ballad-makers. But there are signs of trouble even there. In his chamber, weak and dying, While the Norman Baron lay, Loud without, his men were crying. I " Shorter hours and better pay." „ Know you why the ploughman, fretting, Homeward plods his weary way Ere his time? He's after getting Shorter hours and better pay.

See! The Hesperus is swinging .Idle in the wintry bay, And the Skipper's daughter singing, " Shorter hours and better pay." Where's tlie minstrel boy? I've found him, Joining in the Labour fray •With his placards slung around him, "Shorter hours and better pay.' r Oh, young Lochirivar is coming; Though his hair is getting grey, Yet I'm glad to hear him humming "Shorter hours and better, pay."

E'en tho boy upon the burning Deck has got a word to say, So-rr-etbitig rather cross concerning Shorter" hours and better pay. Livos of groat mon oil remind us We can make as much as they. Work no more until they find us Shorter hours and better pay. Hail to ihpe, blitho spirit (Shelley), Wilt thou ho> a blackleg? Nay; Sop ring, amp iibov© the molee, " Shorter hours and better pay." —London "Punch."