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SMILES FOR THE DAY.

After Yuie-lide. Mrs George: "Mrs James is going; to give a progressive whist party on! , Thursday night." -Mr 1 George: "Whatij i You don't mean to say she is going, to work off her Christinas presents so ,soon?" ' v -. A Christmas Suspicion. ; Mrs Gramercy: "She must have | beon surprised when her husband gave her such' an expensive present." Mrs Park: "Not surprised, my dear; suspicious." : Tender Reminiscence. "Will you carve, Mr Brown?" asked the landlady, as she set the turkey on the boarding-house table. "No, thank you," /replied the facetious boarder; "let Mr Grind. He is a stone-cutter!" . Why Bobby Didn't Stay. "Bobby, did you have a good time at the party?" "Yes, mother." "Why didn't you stay until it was over?"" "What was the use, mother? I couldn't eat any more." Weights' and Measures. Teacher: "What are weights and measures?" Tommy: "Waits is what comes playing to our house at Christmas, and measures is what father takes to pre- | vent them." Nothing Unusual. Bertie: "What did your mother say ■when you told her I was sorry for having made a fool of myself at your Christmas party?" Flo: "Oh, she said she noticed "nothing unusual." Posi-Prandia! Fears. Mr Squiggs: "I hear that Professor Wiseman, the prophet, has decided that the world will come to an end next Christmas Day." Tommy, Squiggs: "Before or after dinner, pa?"

Permanent link to this item

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/AG19111227.2.39.6

Bibliographic details

Ashburton Guardian, Volume XXXII, Issue 8259, 27 December 1911, Page 6

Word Count
231

SMILES FOR THE DAY. Ashburton Guardian, Volume XXXII, Issue 8259, 27 December 1911, Page 6

SMILES FOR THE DAY. Ashburton Guardian, Volume XXXII, Issue 8259, 27 December 1911, Page 6

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