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Ashburton Guardian, Volume I, Issue 8, 14 October 1879, Page 3

Neutralising a Prayer.—An unfortunate mistake is said to have been made in a church near Rhyl recently (says Brief). The clergyman, who intended to pray for fine weather, offered up by mistake the fervent petition for rain. The mistake was neutralised at the evening service, when the prayer for fine weather was substituted. Appropriate Names.—There are in the United States five Unitarian ministers, and their names are as follows :■ Coles, Sparks, Tongs, Anvil, and Bellows. There are five generals in the Russian army whose names are as follows : Cutraenosoff, Pulmenosoff, Sawmenosoff, Blowmenosoff, and Nosbegon. There is a squatter living in the Wagga Wagga district named Ram, and a farmer named Baines ; I also know a parish clerk named Pope, a blacksmith named Toole, and a bushman named Bear. At Parramatta there lives a fruiterer named Pye. A Moist Rem ark. --Americans manage to invent odd expressions. The other day a young American lady was at a London ball. Dancing heated her. “ I feel a little dewy,” she said to her partner, as she wiped perspiration from her brows. A Sick Sinner. —A shrewd merchant, who once in a while gave Ins conscience a severe twist, lay sick. Alarmed at his situation, he sent for a clergyman, who seems to have laid down the law in pretty strong language. The sick man moved uneasily, but at last said to his spiritual advisor : “ Parson, you are pretty hard on a poor fellow, but I guess you are about right, after all. I have thought it all over, and made up my mind that if I get well I will live principally honest.” The word “ principally ” was probably intended to cover any special contingency that might occur, and is a very convenient adverb. A young lada’ in North Carolina requested to be released from her marriage engagement, on the ground that when she contracted it she believed her lover “ a duck,” but has since found him to bi a goose.