THEN THEY SHELLED NUTS.

War Wit, Volume 1, Issue 5, 1 June 1941, Page 2

THEN THEY SHELLED NUTS.

Some soldiers gave a dinner for two visitors at camp, members of a famous Canadian regiment, who were home on sick leave. The sergeant had been carefully coached about giving the toast, but became flustered, and this is what he made of it: “Here’s to the gallant Eighth,' last on the field and the first to leave it.” Silence reigned, then the corporal came gallantly to the rescue. “Gentlemen,” he began, “you must excuse the sergeant; he never could give a toast decently; he isn’t used to public speaking. Now, I’ll give a toast: Here’s to the gallant Eighth, equal to none.” * . * * “You have such lovely horses. Why don’t you ride them?” “Well, it’s like this: at one end my horses bite, at the other end they kick, and in the middle they are too slippery.” * * * The sergeant was inspecting some recruits when he became conscious of a slight movement behind him and whipped round. “You idiot!” he roared at the offending recruit. “Don’t you ever point a rifle at me again— if it is empty.” “But it’s not .empty,” the recruit explained. * \ ' * * * * An Italian submarine recently destroyed by British ships in the Aegean was named Anfitrite. It would, of course, be a cardinal error to interchange the “f” and the “ti.” * * * •' r Field-Marshal Goering is said to be undergoing massage. This gives a new significance to the popular Army song “Roll Out The Barrel.”