COUNSEL CASTIGATES COLE!!!

Gun Flash, Issue XXVIII, 3 July 1943, Page 1

COUNSEL CASTIGATES COLE!!!

SURPRISING NJtV TURN OF EVENTS IN '.CASE - CHAPMAN Vn c ole

Since we last went to press, astounding • new'evidence. ••hag been brought to ..light’ in the crowded' courtroom which daily han boon thronged with- soldiers .having to sit on the ■ stops mending' their shirts while.-thia dramatic/, case unfolds. ..Damages claimed /'by Chapman are', set at £& all time low of 2»5-' centimes. When . interviewed, Mr# Chapman said it, was not the pecuniary // benefit in which he was Interested but ho wanted to teach this scurrilous rogue Colo a lesson and be able to walk among - his-friend's at Nala without'' having to bow- his' head in'shame . ■ Things look black indeed for COAL. . We print below a portion of the opening address by Chapman’s counsel• -DUCKSBOTTOM. represented CHAR AN and WORMSWIDBLE defended COLD# The ’ case ' is being heard by judge HEIFERDUST. • , "Your Honour, and gent lemon. .I am here today to defend the case of a, gentleman of the highest honour whose ; character ’ has been b smirched', fragged through .the Naia mud, and whose very reputation as the greatest.’exp on-• ■ ent of the pianoforte and the Classics is assailed.. He has been affronted and insulted by the-accusation made by the defendant in public, that he is a. swing ■artist, and also that while inebriated ?he /did play the/Chicago .. Piano on a certain vessel of war. These are both: vile.', and base .'accusations and wholly, untrue, ”My client .is a‘Maestro-. ” , WORHSWIDDLE:./.- ’’Did he. learned Counsel say, Microbe’,'? " JUDGE YiEIFERDUST : "Order’" ’’Order 1" ' ' , .'• ' • ' DUCKSBUM: ■ '‘l -up again, ’A Maestro’ . A man v who has won the W.C. for. .what' lie did’- on He Lange, and on the morning of the 151. shoot. My inten- , tion is to disprove this man Cole', and you, .gentlemen of the jury, willjudge him, and see that my client receives full, damages accordingly. /My •’ .first witness, will. be the, batman of Capt. Cole*-, He too. has -suffered-under the tyrant’ 3 lash. (The batman is .sworn- in, with the usual oaths) DUCKSBUM (TO BATMAN): •. I want 1 you to tell -the Court .in your ■ own words’ ' what manner t of man is Cole. Has ho ever paid- you? What does he -give you in place'.of pay? •Is he nit /continually causing trouble, reading’, other 1 men’s ail,, prying into .secrets-which perhaps in days to ’ come .can use for blackmail? These are but few of , the many questions which, will show //what a bounder .the defendant’ is. He Iv s over been a trouble maker, a disrespector. of /persons./ If he receives fieddish pleasure 'in treating -the'-under-dog in this’ manner, what delight’ to torraent a man, such as my client, who is branded with the hall-mark of fame. His intention, you’ll agree, . in making this scurrilous attack on my-client’ s prowess was -that. Chapman •/would BUY his silence! BUY his silencel At this stage the Court was adjourned. ’ , Buy this paper next week and read the damning testimony of Cole’s Batmanl ’ Q •’-.' ■ ' ' 1 • (By. our Special Reporter, at Naia-by-the-Soa.) .'