Care For A Lift?

Flak, Volume 1, Issue 7, 11 June 1943, Page 2

Care For A Lift?

(95th BATTERY CORRESPONDENT)

Did you ever hear of the occasion when the 2 1/C accompanied by a trusting and unsuspecting brother officer pushed off one Saturday on week-end leave, in the former’s car. If you have ever travelled by one of the buses which cater (?) for our requirements, you will appreciate the smug looks on the faces of these two gentlemen as they bade airy farewell to the poor unfortunates, who, for the modest sum of 1/6, would have the privilege of riding on a mudguard or the running board of one of the no doubt one-time excellent, but now very venerable buses. z

They had . proceeded perhaps 200 yards when a sinister cough was heard from the engine, followed by a series of short, sharp 'coughs, and the car came to a stop. The usual antics were gone through, efforts to restart, hopeful queries from the passenger as to whether there was any benzine in the tank, and finally looking hopefully inside the bonnet, with what object in view is never explained. This state of affairs continued until the advent of the B.C. and the 2 I/C’s dog, which the want of a bath and his predeliction for being sick down the neck of the occupants of the front seat, debarred him from travelling.

The 8.C., after a careful survey, diagnosed the trouble as a blockage or stoppage or something in the feed system, and - forthwith proceeded to unscrew things.

The 2 1/C applied himself to the

end of a pipe, and endeavoured strenuously but unsuccessfully to remove the obstruction by blowing through it; He got redder and redder in the fact, veins stood out on his neck, and his eyes were in danger of popping < right out of their sockets, but still nothing happened. A cheerful passer-by not knowing how close he was to being murdered on the spot, murmured something about “Won’t

it go Papa?”

A tow by. the B.C.’s car was next suggested, but after covering two miles and severing the former’s towrope, this was given up. Then arrived on the scene, the one and only Austin, the hero of Tobruk. , Under any other circumstances the thought of this gentleman being let loose on a car other than his own Citroen, and or other cars he is reputed to own, would bring a painful shudder from the owner. However, the position by

this time was desperate, so much so that even the worthy Austin’s assistance was welcomed. In no' time, before the fascinated gaze of the others, parts were strewn over the road just as motor cycle part/ use to lie about in the garage. What was done was carefully explained with a wealth of technicalities, and to' the amazement of all, Austin in particular, the car started. The 2 1/C was loud in his praises and profuse in his thanks, as with grimy > hands he wrung his saviour’s horny hand, inwardly blaming himself for having misjudged this prince of mechanics. "With light heart the owner and passenger climbed in and set off, by this time li hours after the commencement of their journey. A quarter of a mile passed, the engine purring gently, half mile 3/- —cough, cough, etc.,, etc. Having watched the maestro at work, it was nothing for the two amateurs to remove the carburetter, drain out a pint or two of water, reassemble it and start up again within 32 3-5 seconds. The passenger essayed a short cut by not replacing the float on one occasion, but the engine did not appear to function so efficiently, so it was decided to play fair in future 'and put everything back. This state of affairs continued for a further two hours, and it is now a source of wonder why the one-time passenger so politely but firmly declines further invitations to travel with the 2 I/C unless he has the latter’s personal guarantee that he will get him at least to a bus stop. No Longer Virgin The U.S. submarine Sturgeon radioed to its flagship after sinking its first Japanese ship:- “Sturgeon no longer virgin.”