ESSAY ON MAN

Flak, Volume 1, Issue 6, 28 May 1943, Page 4

ESSAY ON MAN

Man is what a woman marries. Men have two feet, two hands, and sometimes two wives, but never more than one collar button or one idea at a time. Generally speaking, they may be divided into three classes —- husbands, bachelors and widowers. An eligible bachelor is a man of obstinacy surrounded with suspicion. Husbands are of three varieties—prize, surprise, and consolation prize. Making a husband out of a man is one of the highest plastic arts known to civilisation. It requires science, sculpture, and common sense, faith, hope and charity—mostly charity. It is a psychological marvel that a soft, fluffy, tender, violet-scented, sweet thing like a woman should enjoy kissing a big, awkward, stubblychinned, tobacco and bay-rum-scented thing like a man. If you flatter a man it frightens him to death, and if you don’t you more him to death. If you permit him to make love to you, he gets tired of you in the end, and if you don’t, he gets tired of you in the beginning. '■ • ■ . - ■ . If you wear gay colours, rouge and , startling hats, he hesitates to take you out. If you wear a little brown toque and tailor-made suit, he takes you out and stares all evening at a woman -in gay colours, rouge and a startling hat. If you are the clinging-vine type, he doubts whether you have a brain. If you are a • modern type, an advanced and independent woman, he doubts whether you have a heart. If you are surly, he longs for a bright mate, and if you are brilliant, he longs for a playmate. If you are popular with other men, he is jealous, and if you are not he hesitates to marry a wallflower. If you please him he seldom mentions it, but if you displease him, he never fails to tell you about it, especially if you are his wife. . That’s all. -. —“DOUBLE SIX”