WAR VERSE and PROSE

Camp News, Volume 3, Issue 144, 16 October 1942, Page 3

WAR VERSE and PROSE

SELECTED BY A.T.M. No. 5. IF. If you can keep yourself from going crackers At all the things that you’re advised to do, When Hitler sends his horrid air attackers With squibs and bombs to try to . frighten you. If you can hear that hellish banshee warning Without a sinking feeling in your breast, If you can sleep in dug-outs till the ~ morning And never feel you need a better rest. If you can laugh at every black-out stumble Nor murmur when you cannot find a pub, If you can eat your ration and not grumble About the wicked price you pay for grub. If you can keep depression down to zero And view it all as just a bit of fun: Then, sir, it’s clear you’ll be a blinking hero— And, what is > more, you’ll be the only one. (Author unknown.) * * * LETTER TO A CONSCRIPTED BROTHER. Dear Willie, We are all sorry to hear you ate a hand grenade instead of your apple, inside one of those dark tanks, but Grandma is sending you a flax-seed poultice for your stomach. If the poultice does not work, you can plant the seeds in your garden. On the other hand if the hand grenade works first, they can plant you along with the seeds. The Medical Board called your twoheaded cousin Randolph up for another examination. They decided to take him on the grounds that “two heads are better than one.” On the other hand, your Uncle Rex was turned down because he was flat on both ends.

. Even Grandfather is turning patriotic now. He had the whiskey flask arrangement removed from his wooden leg and had it mined, so he can sabotage himself if he falls into enemy hands. . \ - All our love. Your sister, SUE. ♦* . » FIRE WATCHING. A lady, reporting for fire watching for the first time, asked her partner a staid schoolmasterfor details of the duty. “Well,” he replied in all seriousness, “we mustn’t take our clothes off until three o’clock, but after that we can go to bed.”