HAND OUT A SMILE

Camp News, Volume 1, Issue 17, 5 April 1940, Page 5

HAND OUT A SMILE

INNOCENT ABROAD Home on unexpected leave, Tommy changed into “civvies” and went along to the local for a drink. “That’s a smart hat you’ve got on,” commented the barman. Tommy took it off and looked at it admiringly. “Yes,” he replied, “it’s a present from the wife. She thought she’d surprise me with it, but I got home earlier than she epected and found it on the piano. »:*** THE MIRACLE. New Army Sergeant-Major: I say, you chaps, will you be so good as to form fours just once more? The last time you did it, it was a bit ragged. I feel an awful cad for troubling you like this. My humblest apologies.

* * * * SUFFICIENT. After a long talk on the value of peace, good will, and disarmament, a teacher asked his class if they objected to war.. “Yes, sir, I do,” said one boy. “Good,” said the teacher. “Tell me •why?” “Because, sir,” said the boy, “wars make history, and I don’t like history.” * * * * “Tell me, soldier, what do they call a man who refuses to fight?” . “A bachelor.” * * * * “Don’t shoot till you see the whites of their eyes.” “But what if they are bloodshot?” * * * * “I said stand to attention!” “I am, sergeant. It’s the uniform that’s still at ease!’ * * * * Sergeant-Major: What Company are you from ? Raw Recruit: Ford Motor Company, sir! Private Smith was in trouble again. I Called before the commanding officer, he was accused of, insulting the ser-geant-major. “What’s your excuse this time?” he was asked. “I didn’t mean to insult him, sir,” replied Smith. “All I said was that if looks could kill he ought to be careful with the mirror when he shaves himself.”