SMILE RAISERS

New Zealand Tablet, 31 October 1918, Page 46

SMILE RAISERS

The Big ’Un: “My dear fellow, is it really true that you have to join up?” The Little ’Un; “Yes, but don’t let it get about. You see, the idea is to spring it on the Germans, as it were.’’ “Maxie,” queried the teacher of the juvenile class, “what is the difference between electricity and lightning?” “You don’t have to pay nothing for lightning,” answered Maxie. Mrs. Blundcrly (to her caller) ; “My sister has named her four children, Miriam, Ruth, David, and Susannah, all after Bibulous characters.” An enterprising reporter, writing of a wreck at sea, stated that no less than fourteen of the unfortunate crew and passengers bit the dust. Pessimistic Sergeant (who has just been informed that the new - billets are “only a kilo” further on) : “We’ve been told that the last five kilos!” The Optimist: “Well, sergeant, at any rate the blinkin’ place ain’t gainin’ on us.” Why do you always carry your umbrella?” remarked the worst bore in town. “Because,” moaned his victim, “ray umbrella cannot walk.” - . Mrs. Flummux entered the drapery shop, and after inspecting some goods lying on the counter, asked : “Do you sell invisible hair-nets?” . “Yes, ma’am,” said the assistant. “Well, will you let me see one, please?”