A LADY'S LETTER FROM MELBOURNE.

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XI, Issue 2, 4 May 1883, Page 19

A LADY'S LETTER FROM MELBOURNE.

MSLB'WftKIB haii, for the last fortnight or so, broken out into bataars in the most reckless manner ; bazaars for all kinds of objects, and on every possible scale, from a small Wesleyan effort in a little schoolroom, to a tremendous Catholic undertaking in the Exhibition Building. This last bazaar is called an " International Fair," and its immense success leaves everything achieved by former bazaars, completely and absolutely in the shade. Its principal attraction (there are myriads of lesser ones), is a game of chess, where the pieces, instead of being carved out of inanimate wood or ivory, are represented by real live people. The rival queens are two well-known, and much admired ladies of Catholic society ; and the kings are such goodly men, so majestic of mein, and so courtly of demeanour, that although they are both taller than most of the crowned heads of Europe, each is every one of his inches a king. There are also in fitting costume, venerable bishops, gallant knights, and battlemented castles, while the red pawns aie wonderfully drilled little lads, and the blue pawns bewitching little lasses. The game of living chess played on a high chess board, is really a sight worth seeing, and has drawn thousands of spectators to the Fair. The English cricketers, if they have suffered some defeat in the field, have been eminently successful in another direction, where success is even more highly prized. Several of them, it is reported, become engaged to Melbourne girls, and the Hon. Ivo Bligh, *Jn particular, has earned the eternal detestation of many men, who could- more easily have forgiven him any cricketing triumph, than the fact of his having been able to charm one of the reigning belles of Melbourne ball rooms. " Were there no bonny dunes at Home, Or no true lovers hare ? That he should cross the seas to win The dearest of the dear!"

A Protestant young friend of mine, who was recently preparing for confirmation, was asked by the examining Clergyman who had the charge of instructing her : " Why is matrimony not a sacrament " f Not being versed in the church catechism, I do not know what the correct answer should have been, but the one she promptly gave is comforting to spinsters and bachelors, — " Because it is not necessary to Salvation " 1

Anent confirmation, I must tell another anecdote, which, though it may appear irreverent, I had from the saintly and revered Archbishop Polding, who died some years ago in Sydney, foil of years and honour. In the early days of the colonies, when his missionary labours often carried him far into the wilds of the busb, he once came across a shepherd who professed to be a Catholic, and wished to be confirmed, although he appeared to be wholly uninstructed in the Christian doctrine. Finding that, in spite of his ignorance, he was in good disposition, the Bishop gave him a short lesson on the principal mysteries of religion, and left him a Catechism, saying, " I shall come back by the same road in a few weeks' time, and hope to find that you have studied your Catechism diligently, and that you remember all that I have taught you." Dr. Polding then went on his way to look after* his scattered flock, and having visited many townships and stations, returned in due time to his catechumen, whom he found at the appointed place awaiting his examination. " Well, my son," said the kindly Bishop, " can you tell me how many Gods there are." The shepherd answered promptly and correctly. " Very well, tell me now how many Persons there are in God." The answer to this was also, after a little hesitation, given correctly. " And now, how do you call the three Divine Persons?" The shepherd replied : "The Father and the Son." " That makes only two," said the Bishop, " how do you call the Third Person of the Blessed Trinity f " " Indeed, then, sir, I can't tell you,'* said the perplexed pupil ; " I know the Father and the Son all right, but I can't mind the other gentleman's name"!

Two little Australians, who were returning lately to their native land from a visit to Europe, seem to have had as confused ideas of the Paraclete as this bushman. Among their fellow-travellers were some nuns, whose unusual dress greatly puzzled the children. Whenever the Sisters appeared on deck, the little girls stopped their play and gaped with wide, opened-eyed astonishment at the veiled heads, the cloaked forms, and the crucifixes and rosaries of the religieuses. Their nurse reprimanded them for their want of manners, but her scolding had no effect, and as a last resort she complained to their mother, who was greatly pained at their conduct, and said, "My dears, lam shocked that you could have behaved so badly ; how would you like, if you were grown up, that rude children should stare at you as you have stared at these ladies." " But they are not ladies, mamma, dear," said one of the culprits. " Not ladies ; what are they f " asked the mother. " Ob, I don't know exactly, but Ada and I think they are Holy Ghosts." John Gilpin's wife has been greatly commended because, " although on pleasure she was bent, she had a frugal mind," but I doubt whether her hatred of waste would have enabled her to do pleasantly what I saw a wife forced to do one day. Her husband had taken her for an evening's outing to a bazaar, and when they had wandered about and seen all the sights, he thought he would like some refresh-

ment. He went to a confectioner's stall and looked with greedy eyes on the dainties, unable to make up his mind what to choose. All the good things were at bazaar prices, and, although he liked cakes, he I very much disliked spending his money. At last, unable to decide, he produced half-a-crown, and asked one of the charming ladies who presided over tbe stall to choose for him ; and she, probably judgiDg his taste by her own, handed him a Vauilla ice. The poor wife, who had, so far, been offered nothing, stood meekly on one side, while her lord prepared to commence his feast. Evidently he had never tried an ice cream before, and when he tasted he found it detestable. He stormed, and demanded his money back again, declaring that the nasty stuff they had given him) gave him toothache, and was a regular imposition. The lady confectioner, however, was inexorable, and told mm that it was really delicious, and that it was his want of taste

made him unable to appreciate- it. " Come along, then," said he to his wife, " let us see how you'll like it ; it's paid for, and must not be wasted." And although she liked it scarcely better than he did, he insisted on her finishing it to the rery end of the glass. New brooms proverbially sweep clean, and new Ministries generally set out with a number of brilliant plans for the benefit of the country, Ido not know whether it is to the fact of our having a brand new Minister of Bail ways that we owe two usefal novelties, which I hare obserted within the last few days. One is that, at all the stations the names are painted on the lamps, so that the benighted traveller can see at a glance where he is, and not risk being whirled past his destination. And the other, I think, must have been in* vented in the interest of the station-maste s and porters, who are being perpetually asked by people who seem unable to master its time-table, " What time is the next train for A B O, X V and Z ? " It is an ingenious invention, with the names of all the trains starting from the main station painted on it, and moveable indications telling the hour the next train starts for everywhere along the line.