THE PASSING SHOW

New Zealand Illustrated Sporting & Dramatic Review, Volume XX, Issue 1123, 19 October 1911, Page 4

THE PASSING SHOW

TOPICS OF THE WEEK, BY A CAUSTIC CRITIC.

With this number the “Sporting and Dramatic Review” is taking a forward step—if not a pretentious one, at least a progressive one. The exigencies of a newspaper office necessarily makes the remodelling of a paper such as this a comparatively big undertaking and a slow process. Nevertheless our readers may be assured that now a start has been made to give them at once the brightest, most up-to-dafe and best weekly paper of its kind in the Dominion, they can count on the Review marching forward to that goal with a determination that each issue will be an improvement on the last until the transformation is complete.

This . new feature—the PassingShow —is only a forerunner of others to follow, that will, we trust, add appreciably to the popularity of the paper : Within a., few weeks our staff,' plant and publishing offices, will be. housed in Cleave’s Buildings, an imposing five-storey ‘block on the corner of High-street and Vulcan Lane,; Our . new quarters will comprise one of the most modern and commodious printing houses in Australasia; consequently when the change is made we will be able to realise our ambition to give sportsmen and the general public a weekly paper second to none in the Dominion. The new “Sporting and Dramatic Review” will be enlarged, and many new features introduced, including topical comments and wider sporting intelligence, besides being copiously illustrated with photographs, line drawings and cartoons.

Wars, strikes, and elections make up our staple diet —and not too wholesome at that —provided by our daily papers at the present time. But to the man in the street the heavy lead type and death-daring headlines fired by our scare sheets don’t seem to be killing many warriors, workers or wowsers. We sympathise with the local dailies in their forlorn attempt to stir up excitement.

Although we look to “Tommy” Gresham as our specialist in morbid stuff, by virtue of the exaulted office he holds as district coroner, the said official has a pretty way of clothing naked facts in gay raiments. Thus Tommy referred to the untimely death, per agency of a taxi-cab, of Charles Goldsmith: —“In the present case the evidence showed that a human ’being had been wiped out suddenly and sent before his Maker without a moment’s preparation.”

Although the Empire City is ever envious of the Queen City when the latter has a chance to gain fame, our southern glorified village, however, allows one golden opportunity to slip. Some years ago the electors of the Empire City rejected that now famous man John George Findlay. To-day the great man has cast his purple mantle over Parnell, so that now the “Dominion” has come to appreciate what Briggs’ Borough and Frank Lawry’s seat really is.

We cull from the “Dominion’ these frank —nothing- to do with Lawry this time —admissions: — Which js .the most important bit of New Zealand? —Parnell. And the one that has the greatest future ? —Parnell. And the one with the most progressive and intelligent residents? — “Pfl.TTl All What is the home of fair women, brave; men, and charming babies?— ParneliWhere" has the Seatless Knight promised to live?.—Parnell. - Where will he live after the election ?JH?arneH.” ‘ .

Parnell this week only just missed a still greater honour. - Plain Bill Massey nearly threw in.. his lot with Parnell—but didn’t! Franklin thinks too much of the Leader of His Majesty’s Opposition to allow him to enter the lists against the Seatless Knight Ito win the love of Rowena Parnell. The days of chivalry have gone,-”' 5 '.;

The other -day' a 'bibulous-looking indvidtiatl' stood in the dock at the Police Court and asked: “If a man is

to be locked up for drinking too much beer where is New Zealand going?” Some of it, pretty obviously, is going to gaol.

Talking of gaol, our Anglican Bishop visited Mt. Eden last Sunday and confirmed a number of the male prisoners, whose ages ranged from 15 to 50, and all lengths of sentence. We are told this is the first service of the kind in Auckland, and probably in New Zealand. Apparently gaol is no longer affords a safe haven from the tidal wave of wowserism.

The death of Harry Rickards, Australasia’s “Vaudeville King,” calls to mind an hoary old chestnut that has been from time to time attributed to many leading lights in the theatrical firmament, but which we believe was Harry’s own. During a rehearsal at the Tivoli, in Sydney, a certain artiste failed to answer her call. Harry turned to an attendant, demanding where Miss was. The reply was: “She’s round behind, sir.” “Yes,’’ said Harry, “I know that. But where is she?” ...

Our hereditary knight — Joseph George Ward —has been explaining to the good people of the Motherland what a sportsman is. He says: “A sportsman is purely one who ‘plays the game,’ both in his own particular sport and in the great game of life, in its truest sense; who is clean in thought, manly in disposition, and straight in action; one who, although cheerfully accepting whatever reverses fate may decree, resolutely strives to surmount them.” Surely Joseph must have been thinking of the bookmakers he wiped out last year!

We will soon again be in the thoes of a General Election, but there seems to be a casual indifference on the part of the good people of this benigned country as to who they send to the “Talking Shop.” In days gone by elections were certainly cordial —if not always convivial —events. |Eggs, flour, and vegetables were the chief arguments used. To-day elections are mainly a matter of words. It is terrifying to the mere ordinary person to think that there are hundreds of men who are burning with the one desire to talk.

By a careful method of selection, called a general election, eighty of these talk-lovers have to be collected and stored together in one building —thank Jupiter it is not in Auckland. There is something ludicrous in the modern . method of selecting M.P.’s. to run our country into debt. Nothing is asked of their experienceNothing is required by way of guarantee that they will be able to discharge the duties we select them to carry out. Nothing is even asked as to their ability to do anything but talk —and the best talker is the best deceiver. None of these things is given consideration. All that is asked of condidates for Parliamentary honours is that they shall be able to discharge the duties we select them to carry out. Nothing is even asked as to their ability to do anything but talk —and the best talker i sthe best deceiver. None of these things is given consideration. Alli that is asked of candidates for Parliamentary honours is that they shall be able to talk glibly and unceasingly. For this we pay them £3OO a year, allow them to live in stately quarters, and travel free on our railways. No wonder there are candidates galore for our national Talking- Shop.

On the surface matters political in City Central appear calm and unpeturbed, but the “wise men” predict an early earthquake and general ' upheaval. “Jimmy” Gleeson and his warlike tribe have been collecting their soap, and at the opportune moment they will drop their accumulated store into the craterThis is sure to ensure a big flare up, and set the lava flowing down Queen-street. Not many days now will bring the great-little Albert Edward:’back among his good people, and he can be depended on for a lively pyrotechnic display. So all things considered City Central promises to be a big storm centre before long!

Honest John Bradney is out against Wowser Poole for Auckland East, and after his. big success he is bound to put up a strenuous fight. Everyone knows Bradney as a straight and clean fighter, and for this reason is assured a block vote from sportsmen. in the Eastern suburbs, which should just about lift him to the top.

Arthur Myers has a soft thing on for Auckland West. He is one of the Parliamentary yearlings, but he won his first race in such convincing style that his chances of capturing the big event in December are practically a foregone conclusion —in fact, you can’t get a man to back the field against him at any price.

Young Alison is getting through his preparation for the Waitamata Stakes in convincing style and promises to be well supported. Al-: though he has not been sent out in company yet he looks like a stayer and should be just about favourite when nominations close. However, his connections should not be too sanguine for they have an olid campaigner in Napier to meet. He has got a lot of dash and strikes out willingly.

The Old Lady of Queen Street (iHerald), was bewildered with joy on Monday morning when she blurted out the glad tidings that the “ Lovely Waitamata” was to again become a port of call between Yankeeland and Australia for a new shipping service. Some five years ago three obsolete and decrepit vessels, known as “SJpreckles tubs” abandoned one of the most erratic and unreliable ocean mail services New Zealand has ever been saddled with. Since that time two of these vessels, the Ventura and Sonoma, have been lying idle in ‘Frisco waiting to be scrapped—as they should have been years ago.

The Old Lady now tells us these two obsolete vessels are to be reconstructed as oil burners and again placed in commission as passenger and freight steamers to link up these fortunate Isles with Yankeeland. Truly this is American enterprise and the morning megaphone is jubilant and advocates the Government providing a subsidy to the new (?) line of fast steamers. How progressive! How liberal’! But oh, what nonsense!!! * * * * Candle-box orator at Grey’s Statue: “ What was Dives asked for when in Hell? —Water! —And what does that show?” A wit in the Crowd: “It shows where teetotalers go.”