Minor Matters.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXV, Issue IX, 1 September 1900, Page 389

Minor Matters.

A Queen's Chocolate Catastrophe. ! A friend of mine whose brother is on active service in South Africa received from him (writes “Leah”) his box of Queen’s chocolate, of whieh she was naturally very proud. It was placed on an occasional table in her drawing-room. Bast week, when she returned home from shopping, she was met by her eldest son, Percy, on the. verandah. “Muni, we’ve had such a grand party—me and Totty and the two young Ellises. We found a great big box o' choc’lat’ in the drorin’room ” “You don't .mean to say you dared to touch that box of chocolate?” "We thought you put it here for a s’prise,” explained Percy. “Have you eaten it?” Percy nodded tearfully. “And where's the box?” “Young E-E-Ellis threw it in the fire to see if it was tin or wood, and it was tin; 1 told him so.” “Whffre is the box now?” “1 gave it to the dustman for a ha’penny, and bought some lick'rish.” The curtain is let fall on the painful scene which ensued. ♦ * * Progressive Wanganui. During the time the party of legislators from Wellington were being driven round Wanganui last week on the occasion of the opening of the new club, Mr A. D. Willis took the opportunity of calling attention to the progressive and up-to-date spirit pervading Wanganui, and expressed the hope to the Postmaster-General that the new post office building would be in keeping with the character of the later buildings erected and now in progress, and also pointed out that Wanganui was fifth in importance of the large centres, with a postal revenue nearly equal to that of Dunedin and Christchurch. Mr Ward quite concurred in this, and gave Mr Willis the assurance that the new Wanganui Post and Telegraph Office would be in every respect a credit to a town of which he had such a high opinion. 4> * 4> N.Z. Dairy Produce. The increase in the quantity of dairy produce exported during the past season over : that exported during the previous Ltsyelve’months iwas" fully.i forty per- cent., but there is every indication that .even that remarkable development will be'exceeded during the coming season, Though the' first shipment will' .nottake place "for two months yet,' the majority of the outputs of- the factories have been already disposed of, a number are consigning, and only a very few are still undecided as to how they will deal with their produce. 4? 4? A Sensational Incident. A sensational incident occurred at the Palace Biograph in Sydney the other day (writes a correspondent of the “Australasian”). A sound between a sob and a shriek was heard from the stalls, a young lady rose excitedly to her feet, and fell back in a semi-faint. The scene on the canvas showed the Gordon .Highlanders marching out of camp at .Ladysmith. In the realistic picture she had recognised her brother, a lieutenant in that regiment, marching with the rest. Since taking part in that march he had lost his life. One of the audience remarked when coming away, “It wasn't only seeing him that was so sad, but remembering that he would go marching on that canvas all over the world when in reality he was resting under the sod in South Africa. Tile thing’s ghastly.” A Smart Invention. A Hastings man has patented an invention the object of which is to hold a horse by the head if it attempts to move off, and not by the wheel as is almost universally done. The reins, when the vehicle is stationary, are passed through a roller fixed to the side of the cart and then looped on a hook placed on the inside of the wheel. There is also a chain which effectually stops any "backing.” When the horse' is quiigt his head is perfectly free, but should he move forward the wheel gradually tightens the rein and checks the motion, when

naturally the horse answers the rein and backs enough to give it a free head 4? 4 1 4The Exact Cost of Electric Traction. Now that electric trams are so much talked about in Wellington, Auckland, etc., etc., some figures as to cost of electric traction may be of interest. “Engineering,” in an article full of details on the cost of electric power production, gives full data as to the expenses of tramway traction by electrie power. It is shown that on the European lines, with speeds averaging 8 miles per hour, the amount of electrical energy used is about two-thirds of a Board of Trade unit per car mile, I unit being about the highest, except, for heavy ears or on steep gradients, and the cost of producing a Board of Trade unit is about :Jd to I.Jd, so that the electric cost is seldom over Id per ear mile. Including all charges, the cost is 3jd per ear mile iu Hamburg; at Leeds just over 4]d. In America It varies between 4;d and id; hut. “Engineering” further gives figures to show that in New York electric tramways are run at 5d per ear mile, cable tramways for SJd. and horse tramways for practically 9d. Owing to the demand on electric tramway machinery being constant, the power is got for one-fourth the cost of the electricity for lighting, the demand fori the latter being intermittent. 4- 4 1 4Petroleum. According to a West Coast paper, the petroleum deposits in the neighbourhood of Lake Brunner Will soion be prospected and developed. A difficulty has been experienced iff obtaining a title owing to a doubt whether the warden could grant a mineral oil lease within the Midland railway reservation. This doubt has now beta set at rest, and as soon as the necessary formalities have been overcome boring will be actively prosecuted.

A Novel Objection. A novel and ingenious objection was urged at the Waiakia Warden's Court (says the Mataura “Ensign”) to the grant of a certain application for a 'lignite licence.. The objector (,whq forwariled a letter to the'Court) stated that he was the owner of a lignite pit; and .was, quite able 'to supply 'the Wants of Waiakia without any others startihg in the same line of business. The Warden,-in ; dismissing' the .objection, pointed out with becoming gravity and mixed metaphor that in these democratic times anything savouring of a mlonopoly had to be trodden on with a firm hand. 4r 4? 4? A Natural Mistake. It was not an unnatural mistake. One neighbour had advertised for a' girl to do general housework. Another had announced in the sffme wag that she would rent her fine house, furnished, for six months. A woman called on the.former of these the other morning and rang the front-door bell. “Please step round to the side door,” said the mistress, as she met the caller. The caller complied, but. with a puzzled smile. “1 came in response to your advertisement.” she began, when seated. "Yes: you have references, I presume?” “Certainly, if you require them,” and the caller set her nose a little higher. “Does your house have ail modern conveniences?” “Everything. The kitchen is particularly well arranged and the laundry is complete. There is nothing old and worn, and that makes it nicer. Where did you work last, and what wages have yon been getting?” “Work last? Wages'.’ I beg your pardon,” and the caller's eyes looked dangerovts. “T don't think your house would suit me at all. 1 would like a conservatory and a billiard-room. "Goodness gracious! And I suppose you'd want n private theatre and a roof garden. You can't work for me.” “Madam, you advertise a house to rent furnished, and when I <■< me you insult me,” and she started for the door. Then there waff a huii'led explanation, ami. both being sensible women, they laughed till sd weak 11 at each hnd to take two enuff of tea ns a bracer.

Curiosities of AbsentMiudeduess. Even the Church is not above being absent-minded. Dean Stanley once delivered a sermon, and. indeed, conducted a complete service with a parr of gloves on the top of his head. He had put the gloves into his hat. and had put the hat on, but forgot them when he took it off again, and could not make out what his congregation : was so amused about. But Dr. Gott. Bishop of Truro, and at one time vicar of Leeds, did far better. Indeed, his absent-mindedness was so notorious that he earned for himself the “sobriquet" of "Dean Forgott” when Dean of Worcester. He had on one occasion invited a number of friends to dinner, and a short time

before the dinner hour he suggested that a stroll through the grounds wotdd make a good appetiser. After spending a quarter of an hour or so admiring the greenhouses, etc., they suddenly came across a small door in the wall. “Ah,” said the Dean to his astonished guests, "this will lie a much shorter way home for you than going to the front way,” and, ail unconscious of his invitation, he opened the door and bowed them out. One would think that for a Judge to be absent-minded was particularly out of place. It is, but in one instance at least this failing- on the part of the Judge turned out to be particularly useful. It happened on one of the northern circuits that some seamen had brought an action against their owner, alleging that, amongst other disagreeable things to which they were subjected, bad food was supplied to them, in proof of whieh a sea biscuit was put in as evidence. The counsel produced this in his opening statement, and it. was handed to the Judge, then to the jury, and back again to the bench. The case proceeded in the regular way, when after a time the plaintiff's counsel, wished to bring in the evidence of the biscuit again, this being- an important item on which great reliance was placed. But it was nowhere to he found. After searching under benches and

everywhere else. it was mentioned that the Judge hud it last, and then it was found that little by little, whilst the ease proceeded, he had eaten it in a lit of abstraction. The laugh was irrepressible, and of course against the complaining crew, who had alleged that a biscuit which the Judge was able to eat was food unfit for them. It need hardly be added that, the action—a trumped-up one—was not won by the complainants. 4- 4> 4’ A Back Blocks VFedding. The marriage of a young couple at Pinetree Gully was a novelty in the form of tying the knot only to be witnessed in a back-blocks township (writes “C.C.” from New South Wales). The small house where the bride resided was watched for some time by eager spectators. Everything was so quiet that it was considered a hoax had been played, and no wedding would take place. Interest, was revived by the appearance of the bridegroom, dressed in a greenish-black frock coat, billycock hat, and a pair of moleskin pants. Then, amid an expectant hush, the bride and her mamma, came out, and the happy] party proceeded—not to the church,' but to a hawker's cart, to eat apricots and peaches, and thus fortify themselves for the coming ceremony. That done, the groom strolled over to the church, saying. “Come along, my girl,” as he pushed her by the arm. A few “gentleman" friends, as a delicate attention, had covered the road with empty bottles. This did not disconcert the lady, who kicked them right and left with much vigour. The bride's father had refused to eome to the church, or even to "dean” himself, but he sat on a log near by, and did not reject an invitation to the. breakfast. When that function was over the bridegroom appeared and said, “Now, boys, let’s go over to the pub.; the last there pays.” A scramble took place, the ladies remaining behind to “clean up.”