THE PASSING SHOW

Waikato Times, Volume 126, Issue 21098, 27 April 1940, Page 11 (Supplement)

THE PASSING SHOW

(By “ Free Lance.”)

W hen a child is born in America the proud parents hope it will grow up to be President. In Europe, they hope it will grow up. More dictionary lore: Subvert, to confound. So confound the confounders. Theoretically, says Hitler, Germany has no need of a navy. For once, theory and practice agree. • * * • It is time the Government controlled the wild life of the country, says the Hon. W. E. Parry. Those who live next to dance halls will heartily agree. * * * * Reports from Bradford state that because of the stoppage of exports to Scandinavia there are substantial weights of yarns for other markets. They don’t carry much weight with us. The Cambridge University Press is publishing a work called “The Architecture of the Intelligible Universe in the Philosophy of Plotinus,” and another called “An Ethnographic Account of the Natives of the Swaziland Protectorate.” Thank heaven, life goes on just the same. Soon it will be quicker to rub two sticks together than to search the shops of Hamilton for a match. Which reminds us of the man who tried a cigarette lighter, but ran out of coupons. Also of the too rapidly growing practice among shopkeepers of making us buy cigarettes or tobacco before we can have matches. * * * • A young officer returning from abroad was just about to board the air liner when a girl rushed up and asked if anybody would sell her a seat, as her mother was ill. The young officer complied and wired his commander: “Given berth to a girl. Returning by next plane.” The commander replied: “Your next confinement will be in barracks.” Congratulations to the vandals who visited the Hamilton Bowling Club one night recently, on their handiwork. The bowlers appreciated tne marks their heels left on the green as they dragged the roller into the middle, and the thoughtful repair work done on the seats by ripping off the slats. Should they care to visit the club and acknowledge their efforts, they are assured of a warm welcome.

COMMENT AND CRITICISM

A nation which can start a war by talking about reconstruction after it is hardly likely to lose it. • * * • “Your Government is keeping a coo! head and steady hand. We are keeping out of wars in Europe and Asia.”—President Roosevelt. Let me shake your hand, President. • • • * A trotting writer says that Twenty Grand has grown into a really good type of pacer, and when thoroughly tuned up for racing he should have little difficulty in paying his way. He will greatly belie his name if he doesn’t. * * m m Russia to Germany: “You keep Italy out of it and we’ll settle the Balkans for you.” Italy to-Germany: “You capture Gibraltar and we’ll keep out of the Balkans.” Britain to Germany: “You capture Gibraltar and you can have the Balkans and everything else.” In spite of wartime worries, fewer people are going to the doctor in Britain A doctor who used to take £650 a year before he joined up received only the equivalent of £4O a year from his locum. In times of peace And prosperous ease The sawbones trade was roaring. Perpetual booms In waiting rooms Sent doctors’ incomes soaring. The current mode In Society Road Was to suffer from neurosis. “It’s nerves, I fear,” He said, my dear, “Magnesium in three doses.” “Why servants leave I can’t conceive, The children drive me frantic. I must consult Dear Doctor Cult, His eyes are so romantic.” But war soon dated Nerves deflated, And wives have .found new fashions. The latest fmrries, Exciting worries, Are blackouts, funds, and rations. The echoing feet Of Harley Street Are hollow on the floor. But if war serves To fix “my nerves,” Men won’t mind one or two more.