IN LIGHTER VEIN

Waikato Times, Volume 125, Issue 20995, 23 December 1939, Page 17 (Supplement)

IN LIGHTER VEIN

NO NEED OF CIRCUS “May I go to the circus, please?” Mother: Certainly not! Fancy wanting to go to the circus when your Aunt Sally is here! CRUEL REVENGE “Why do you always open the windows when I sing, John?” “I want to pay Mr Nextdoor out for letting his fowls into my yard.” TOO MUCH PUNISHMENT “Doesn’t ypur choir sing at the prison any more?” ~ “No, several of the prisoners objected on the ground that it wasn’t included in their sentences.” SURVEYED—NOT MEASURED A stout actor was late for rehearsal one morning, and the producer was annoyed. He said; “Does anyone know where Blank is?” “Yes,” said one of Blank’s friends, “He’s gone to the tailor to be measured for a suit.” “Measured?” shouted the producer. “You mean surveyed, don’t you?” IN CONTROL “How many controls are there on your wireless set?” “Three—my mother-in-law, my wife, and my daughter.” TOO MUCH FOR THE DOG! The violinist’s daughter had a pet Airedale named Pal. One day the mother was practising for an appearance at a social function. Pal, outside the window, was giving a howling accompaniment. Finally the little girl came over to her mother and pleadingly said: “Oh, mother, won’t you please play something that Pal doesn’t know?”

Screen Star Gets Divorce Madeleine Carroll the film star, has been from Captain Philio£ s u e y Q n the ground of his misconq^^ Madeleine/~’ arro u who was borti in Eng!andy was first seen [ n Hollywood in 'fc oun g Woodley” in 1930. Her otherf important films, English and American, include “I Was a /Thirty-nine Steps,” “The * U " IC Jf of Zenda,” “Blockade,” and * C W e Tfociety.” She married CaDtain 193-