Wit and Humour

Waikato Times, Volume 125, Issue 20917, 23 September 1939, Page 14 (Supplement)

Wit and Humour

INJUSTICE He: And another thing, you never j get me a hot meal when l come home, i She: 1 like that. Why, you had a boiled egg only yesterday. PLENTY OF TIME Chief: What! Asleep in the office? You can go on the first of the month. Clerk: Why wake me up to tell me that—it's only the twentieth today. NO ILL FEELING Mean Lady: You have forgotten that I gave you a large plate of soup yes- 1 ter day. Tramip: Madame, 1 have not forgotten; hut 1 have forgiven. PROOF “ Mum, if Joey ate some tadpoles, would they kill him?” " Why, of course.” “ Well, they didn't.” NOTHING TO FEAR “Well,” said the insurance agent to Angus, who had recently married a for-bidding-looking widow 7 , “now that you’re married, l m sure you’ll want to insure your life.” “Awa wi’ ye!” said Angus. “She's no that dangerous." NOT IMPRESSED Dolly bad just arrived home after her first day at school. “Well, darling,” asked her mother, “what did they teach you?" “Not much,” replied the child, “I’ve got to go again to-morrow." TOO BAD Bints: My wife has run away with a man in my car. Hinks: Good heavens—not your new car? PIN MONEY “Your daughter says she asks only for pin money." “Yes, but the first pin she wanted . had two rubies and a star sapphire in