The Passing Show

Waikato Times, Volume 124, Issue 20845, 1 July 1939, Page 15 (Supplement)

The Passing Show

(By “Free Lance”)

NOBODY WORKS in this country, declares Captain Davey in explaining why stowaways come to New Zealand. Admittedly large numbers spend their time gazing in rapt admiration at the Awatea, but all the same the charge is a little sweeping, don’t you think, Captain? The best bird in the recent canary and cage bird show, said the judge, exhibited every quality of a potential breeder. Now, how could he tell that? • • • • A Parisian produced dictaphone records in the Divorce Court to prove that he had a nagging wife. The coming of television will make these cases really interesting. A question in the air raid precaution tests asks: “ What would you do if a bomb were to tear up the main street?” We would immediately tear up a side street. No, Oscar, there is no truth in the rumour that the Borough Council is laying those divisions in Garden Place for the staging of mud-wrestling contests to pay for the removal of the. hill. • • • • Extract from a southern newspaper report: For three weeks the jeweller kept a watch for the burglar.—lf we know anything about the jeweller it would only be a cheap one. * * * • The rapidity with which the termite, or white ant, will work, is shown by the fact that extensive damage to a new building may be done within five or six years. In fact, the building is ruined as fast as it is put up.

COMMENT AND CRITICISM

Maybe there is a dove of peace, but it must have been pigeonholed in Europe.

At least one prisoner down south realised what is meant by the elasticity of the law the other day.—He got r long f* retch.

Recent advertisement: “ For sale, a house suitable for a widow with a wide frontage.” Yes, some widows are like that.

“ If I give you sixpence,” said the housewife, “will you spend it on drink? ” “ If you insist,” replied the tramp.

Very deceitful! The girl who stopped out all night with an Indian rajah, and said she’d been sitting up with a sikh friend. • • • 0

Teacher: Give me a definition of “widow.” Child: A widow is a woman who lived with her husband so long that he died. • * • •

A travel bureau tells us that with the advent of high-speed travel, the world is our doorstep. We know that, but the trouble is that the Dictators will keep walking in without wiping their feet. • • • •

The meanest man we know was told by his w’ife that, with the winter coming on, she would like to see some furs. He promptly rose to the occasion and took her to the zoo. • • • • After listening to an impromptu address from my wife earlier in the week I have devised a new definition of inertia. In a woman it is nervous prostration, but in a man it is just plain J aziness.