LITTLE LAUGHS.

Waikato Times, Volume 109, Issue 18229, 17 January 1931, Page 15 (Supplement)

LITTLE LAUGHS.

For years he had been terribly henpecked. One morning at breakfast he said to his wife: “My dear, I had a queer dream last night. I thought I saw another man running off you.” “Indeed I” said his wife. “And what did you say to him?” “Oh!” he answered, “I asked him why he was running.” * # * * Brown; “Isn’t it wonderful that often clever men appear to be very stupid?” Smith: “Are you aiming at me?” Brpwn: “Oh, no; you are not what you appear.” * * * * THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT. “Yes, my man; here’s a bob. Now you can go and get something to eat.” “Thank you, mister; thank you. I haven’t always begged like this; but I was driven to it. To look at me you wouldn’t think that I used to have a good job, and plenty of money. No, but then came the ” “Aha! The same old story; you’re one of the stock crash victims still wandering around.” “Oh no, sir. I never bought a stock or share in my life. I was no gambler.’, “Well, what on earth happened, then?” “Long dresses, sir; that did it.” “What? You mean to stand there and tell me that long dresses lost you your job?” “Y r es, sir. When the girls started wearing long dresses again they sacked half of us Press photographers. Thank xqu, for thq J&h again,

' During the hearing of a oase the ' judge was disturbed by a youth who kept moving about in the rear of the court. “Young man,” he exclaimed, “you are making a good deal of unnecessary noise; what are you doing?” “I have lost my overcoat, and am trying to find it,” replied the offender. “Well," said the judge, “people often lose whole suits in here without all that fuss.” * * « • A salesman who had been travelling on a railway in America for years found to his surprise that the train came in on time. He immediately went to the guard and said: “Here’s a cigar; I want to congratulate you. I have travelled this road for fifteen years, and this is the first time I have caught a train on time.” “Keep the cigar,” said the guard; “this is yesterday’s train# * * * * THE CLEVER DOCTOR. The doctor was going round the hospital wards, followed by a crowd of students. “I can always tell a man’s occupation by his disease,” he said, turning to an asthmatic patient. “Now this man is a musician, aren’t you?” “Yes, sir.” “And you play a wind instrument?” “Yes." “You, see, gentlemen; nothing is worse for the lungs than a wind instrument. What is your instrument, my man?”