BEACH CRITICISM.

Waikato Times, Volume 102, Issue 17168, 2 August 1927, Page 11

BEACH CRITICISM.

IN THE PACIFIC. "ASSEMBLY OF THE GODS." Tn his book. "Peoples and Problems of the Pacific," just published, Dr .1. 'Macmiilan Brown says that the beach in a South Sea island occupies most of its leisure in criticising the administration. "Land on any island in the Pacific that is well supplied with traders," ho says, "and before an hour is over, if you lake advantage, of your opportunities, you will be certain that Ihcre is 'something rotten in the state of Denmark.' As the days go on, you will lie approached by one after another of the old residents, and made his confidante on the ine-npneily if not, enormities of the administration." "There, are two processes by which this impression gels worn off. One is landing on more trade-frequented beaches. So exactly is the dirge of the Government repeated that you ultimately feel as if you were the victim- of a demon gramophone. The other is slaying long enough to hear the anatomy of every character on the beach as rendered by every other character. It is as black as the Government's, and lite black of the one neutralises the black of the other; you see black all the lime.

"This singular phenomenon, of course, is not confined -to the South Seas- it belongs to all small communities that have but Lenten fare in the way of-topics from the outside world. Every village in every country in the world will' furnish illustration. The whole analytic and critical power of the human mind isToeussed what is immediately before it.—that is to say. the conduct, character, and history of one's neighbours; and the only possibility of a common ground of agreement is the sins of the body corporate that manages the affairs of the village. Increase all this lo the n-th power, and" you will get the South Seas beach community. For news of the great world leaks in only once a month, and lb-en in the poorest little trickle that gives scarcely perceptible relief from the great campaign or local scarification; the business of the whole communliy is not sporadic, as in a village, but all 'concentrated on one topic and one point; whilst the moisture and the heat of the tropics keep the liver and the nerve-ends in a highly inflamed stale. II would be one of the wonders of Nature if beach criticism were less intense and beach gossip less virulent "The. only possibility of reducing the intensity is lo increase the size of the community, as in Suva and Honolulu. Then the number of currents and counter-currents prevents anyone becoming dominant, and lire administration has some chance of disagreement amongst its critics The world of gossip and criticism does not feel the collapse that follows on not having one. topic on which it can be unanimous.

Beach Telephone Exchange

"Unanimity is the only substitute for organisation in these narrow communities. Not .to be unanimous on something is to lack a nerve-centre or telephone exchange. It is one of the most striking characteristics of these beach forums that they arc not organisms; spasmodically they make a frantic effort at organisation by instigating deputations and petitions; but they fall back again into their old inchoate apathy; they resume their old individualistic skirmishing instead of battle tactics. And yet they continue to simulate organisation on one topic; on general politics they are as invertebrate .as a jellyfish; on their immediate politics there is but one opinion, that the administration is past praying for; nothing can put it right but its entire eradication. They have the omniscience of an assembly of (he gods, though they never meet to find the omniscience; nor will they condescend to suggest remedies; they know (hat they will be as much at variance in this role as they arc on the conduct and character of each tfjUier. The only safety lies in generalities. And when any grievance is removed or remedied, it is still a worse grievance that one of the. sweet morsels they have been in the habit of rolling under their tongue has been taken from them. It is one of the first essentials of a beach community that it must have a grievance on which it can be unanimous. Send down an administration of angels direct from Heaven and remove every possible peg on which io hang a grievance, and the greatest of all grievances would arise; its very existence would be menaced. "I have been reading recently 'A Footnote lo History' by Robert Louis Stevenson, written and published in the early 'nineties in order to elucidate the complicalons of native affairs that the various Consuls, especially [he German Consuls, Becker and Klein, had brought about by their intrigues. 1 have not read any page of history so sordid; it is full of the intrigues and grievances of the beach, and of their exploitation of the natives. Stevenson's entry into the tangle, one feels, came near debasing his fine ideals lie spends a page on the peevish, omniscience of the beach and suggests that when Apia becomes a municipality it should have as coat of arms, 'Humour painted full of tongues.' And well f remember 20 years "ago, when 1 spent a month in Samoa, how little the beach under the German administration differed from the beach now under New Zealand administration; it was ■full of fiction and complaint, and the only topic that could unite it was the imperfection of the Government."