PREMIER & AUSTRALIANS

Waikato Times, Volume 100, Issue 16816, 7 June 1926, Page 8

PREMIER & AUSTRALIANS

THE ABSENCE OF RABBITS. SIR J. BARRIE ON GREGORY The members of the Australian cricket team were entertained to luncheon at the Criterion Restaurant, by the London district of the Institute of Journalists (says the Loudon Daily .Mail). The guests included the Prime Minister and Mrs Stanley Baldwin, Mr L. S. Amcry, Secretary for the Dominions; Sir James Barrie, Sir Joseph Cook, Australian High Commissioner; Colonel F. S. Jackson, Mr P. 1\ Warner, and Miss Irene Vanbrugh. Mr Allan Pitt Bobbins, who presided, read a message sending good wishes to the team from the Prince of Wales, and stating that the Prince looked forward to meeting them during (lie summer. in this connection the Prime MinisI .r, who proposed the health of the team, said that the message reminded him of a circumstance which lie was unite sure was unfamiliar even to Mr Warner and Sir James Barrie. "That is, ttiat the Prince of Wales once captained an England eleven and was beaten —but that was 200 years ago,” added the Prime Minister amid laughter. Having recalled the names of some of flic great figures in cricketing liislory, Mr Baldwin continued: •'This game of cricket, the nursery of which is the villages of England, has cast ils seeds across the ocean, and nowhere has a mightier tree grown from that seed than in Australia. There is nothing that has been imported from ibis country that has'flourished there like cricket. The only remarkable Ibiug to my mind is that the other great English export from this country, which, though it lias flourished so much in Australia yet has been kept out of I lie team. I know not by what means, is rabbits.” (Laughter). No Best-Side Nonsense. “And in these few words to welcome Hie Australians, I want to say a word of cheer. Id Mr Warner. 1 want lo ask him not Lo allow his nerves to he unduly rallied by the Press barrage under which our opponents are advancing to fight us. I can assure you i have passed through those barrages imscailied. (Laughter;. I can assure you that Hie quality of the ammunition which will be employed can be no better than is manufactured by the directors of the fire. In those circumstances I hope lie will keep up Ids spirits and 1 iis courage. We hope the weather will be good. We hope Hie games will lie played out. There are two matches in this country which perhaps occupy a peculiar position for those who are directly interested in them —the Oxford and Cambridge and the Eton and Harrow. tt was on ttic morning of the Oxford and Cambridge match that my younger son, as I had been at Cambridge, said to me, “Don’t let us have any of that nonsense to-day about Idling 11 ie best side win.” (Loud laughter). No true sportsman in those two matches ever feels that. (Laughter). Mr 11. L. Collins, in reply, said tlia-4 i;e had had a very interesting discussion witti Mrs Baldwin, and found that she knew more about cricket than lie Sir Jamas Barrie. Sir James Barrie, in a speech punctuated by laughter and applause, pro-

posed the toast of “Cricket.” He said: “All I know about cricket, and especially about my own pyrotechnics, tells me there will be no more play today. 1 feci I am again buckling on in< pads. I stride out to the wicket, bin oh, how horrible! Tlie worst sight of all is Mr Gregor, waiting in the slips. What is the innwaiting for? I have just one consolation out of Mr Gregory, which is that iiis name shows conclusively that he is really a MacGregor. I feel sure tie got liis bowling from his most famous ancestor, ltob Roy MacGregor. You will remember that according to history Rob Roy used to hurl rocks at tlie stumps of iiis opponents. Mr Gregory is now joined in the slips by Mr Hendry and Mr Mailey—-three against one. I don't know what they think they look like standing there in the slips with their arms outstretched imploringly, but to me they look as if they were all proposing simultaneously to the same lady. Even if one of them win her, what can he do with her? I only say tliis in tlie hope that when Hie first Test match comes around these three will remember this and it will put them off their game. Test, Toss, Tail. The first Test Match ! Fancy being able to speak that awful mouthful in words of one syllable! This is lo be Hie great year for words of one syllable—the three T's—Test, Toss, and Tail. This is tile first day of Hie first Test Match. Wo are all al Trent Bridge. The English captain lias won Hie toss. He puls Hie Australians in. I don’t quite catch sight of iiis face, hut 1 saw him having a secret conversation With Mr Warner’s old Harlequin cap, and 1 believe they are up to something. Maurice Tale puls iiis hand behind his hack; an awful silence spreads over the universe; Hie Prime Minister in tlie House of Commons in Hie middle of iiis .speech is bereft of words. It lias been said, probably by Mr Gregory, that drowning men catch at straws, in the balcony of the pavilion nine members of Hie Auslraliun team pick up straws and clutch at them. My Lords, Ladies, and Gentlemen, — Pray silence while Maurice Tale howls tlie first ball. There is now nothing lo lie heard except Mr Gregory Jetting fall liis straw. Tale goes rushing forward and sends down not the ball hui tlie scams? What does that mighty roar mean? That the Australians have already made four, or does il mean in journalistic phrase, “The next mail in is Macartney”? Much good that would do us! Then there is -Mr Ponsl'ortl, who, I have boon lold, lias only been out twice in the last five years. J believe I am Ilie only person present, who knows xvliat is to be Hie constitution of 11 1 c English loam. Our team is mostly lo lie composed of new men. 'They are presently being kept hidden away in cellars. Our fast bowler—l mention Ibis in confidence—is W. if. Thunder. He has never been known lo smile except .when people refer to Mr Gregory as a fast bowler. As for the balling, I shall merely indicate its quality by saying Unit Hobbs is lo lie- tlie twelfth man. Glorious Uncertainty cf Cricket. iif course, something might go wrong. There is Hie glorious uncertainly of cricket. Even Hie Prime Minisler—on the only occasion on which I ever saw him play—in the first innings made 1, lull in ilie second innings lie was not so successful. But, Mr Godins, even though the

Australians were to win this time, I have stilt a rod in pickle for you. In that case I am going myself to choose a Scottish team. My first choice is Alacgrcgor, with whom, for I believe in bowling, I shall have Macdonald, Macartney, and -Macaulay. Two other • lames as Scottisli as any arc Henry mil Andrews. My captain is A. \V. Garr. My wicket-keeper, Lyon, Douglas, Nigel Haig, Macßryan, and Armstrong—and with that team from Scotland—-(laughter)—l challenge tlie Australians, Hie game not to bo played on turf or matting, but, as always, on our native heather.

Do not Jet us forget that the great glory of cricket does not tic in Test matches or county championships or Slicllicld shields; it is to ho found rattier on our old village greens, tlie cradle of cricket. Test matches are only the fever of tlie game. The very mime -“Test match” may in time he forgotten, but long after that I think your l'ar-olf progeny will still hear tlie crack of tlie bat and the native champion calling for liis ale from those bumpy old village pilches.