FUN AND FANCY.

Waikato Times, Volume 87, Issue 13275, 2 September 1916, Page 4 (Supplement)

FUN AND FANCY.

s Qualified. —Recruiting Agent: Ha*r v, 011 : ] n . v military experience -Randall: No, but I'm a born inn • derer. e "How did Teller get. his eoldp" "A 8 the drafts in the bank go through h s cage." 8 Corporal (instructing the awkwai squad in rifle practice): I told you f e tak e a fine sight, stoopid; don't yo n?°, u w 'hat a fine sight is ? Tommj s ' Righto. A boat full of corporals sinll s ing. 1 j 1 The doctor entered the room in the morning, and, accordinl to habit, read the chart first +.hinrj 1 7Ti e was a surprised to read ' a.m. Patient very restless, uursj • sleeping quietly." ! 1° the biography of Dr Hawtrey, famous English schoolmaster, "Vijere i a description of his unkempt appeal ance, with a comment which ha<s bee : greatly quoted. It is said that he wa , scolding for being late at mornin ! lessons a boy who replied that he ha ' no time to dress. "But I can dress i; 1 time," said the doctor. "Yes," repliet ! the boy; "but I wash." ; Busy.—"What aro the duties of a American soldior in Mexico?" the press dispatches can bo relied oi a day's work consists of hunting fo Villa one hour, hunting for water fly hours, and the rest of the time huntini for lost American aviators." ' No Hope.—Edith: Haven't you an< Jack been engaged long enough to ge married. Ethel: Too long! He hasn' got a cent left. Why is it we don't hear any moi complaints about defective lif<ypresei vers on ships?" "Nobody has time f put them on." Dubbleigh: "At a reception this aftei noon I exchanged ideas with the famoi J rofessor Saduka." MissKeene: "Tha explains why I found the professor tir< 601110. Smart Young Man: "What do yo think of Brown '' Indignant Old Man Brown sir! He is one of those oeopl that pat you on the back befoimyoia tS " y ° U in the eye behin^'°a Jones had lately taken to lecturing o: tlie teetotal platform. "So vou wan to marry my daughter, sir! What ac >our principles? Are you temperater he asked of a candidate for the positia o son-in-law "Temperate!" was tb answer. 'Why, lam so strict that i tight ' ,ni ° pam to even my boot I suppose you were touched when yofl wife gave you that easy chair?" "I was touched before she gave it.'* "Seven years' penal servitude," the lunge to a