OMNIUM-GATHERUM.

Waikato Times, Volume XLII, Issue 3424, 9 June 1894, Page 4

OMNIUM-GATHERUM.

I shall be glad when I, get big enough to wash my own: face,' muttered little Johnny after his mamma had got, through with him; 'then I won't wash it.' •' . A; dog .has a remarkable sense of smell. But after lie has employed it once or twice on a burning cracker, he seldom takes the pride in: it he did previously. Slie was a wealthy soprano, and at the concertsang, " Oh,- for the wings of a dove"; yet an hour later, at supper, sho took the wings, legs, and most of the breast of a turkey, and then passed her plate for "more stuf- ' flng." . A reverend gentleman having got into difficulties, with his congregation, found it necessary to hand in his resignation. On the eve of his departure he preached a farewell sermon; and sought to improve the occasion by firing a parting shot. ' You ungrateful and godless people!,' he began severely,' it is clear.that God does not love you, as I have buried none of you since I have been here, arid it is Certain you do hot love one another, for I haven't married any of you. It is equally plain you do not love me, for . you have not paid me uiy last quarter's salary, However, I shall henceforth be independent of you all. I have obtained a position as chaplain ,■ of a gaol.' And then he coolly gave ,■" out the text, 'lgo to prepare' a place for you. When the churches start bazaars they pick bevies of their best looking girls to minister at the stalls. With what intent ? The mere business one of stimulating the impressionable male to spend freely. ; When a com> bination of social Rutliorifcies arranges the details of aii Hospital Saturday collection it provides a bevy of as good-looking girls as it, controls to push -the collection boxes into' the faces of pipe smoking, cigar smoking and cigarette sucking masculinity. Again, : with ; what intent ?, 'Mostly the business one : of stimulating the callow and hoary male to spend without counting. And yet, when the hard#up publican, with exactly thb 1 same object, places a nioe-looking girl behind'his barj these churches and social authorities demand that he shall be put in a spiked barrel and rolled down the hill of infamy.— Sydney Bulletin. / ' 1 v Tlie proverb that it is never too late to learn has received! a x noteworthy exemplification iri the case,of a young man named Badlands tried for the ;' manslaughter of his father before Mr Justice Collins at the West Riding Assizes. -The story was a peculiarly ■ painful and distressing-one, Jmtated; by some trifling domestic circunir stances, the deceased man had struck his wife a violent blow on the hand ( with a poker, and was pursuing her . across a yard in fu rioas. anger, .when Ms son interposed, and, snatching the poker outof the father's grasp, struck him on the .head with it, inflicting , . mortal injuries. Both father and; son.. had been drinking. Mr Justice : Collins, after consulting: • Archibald's Criminal Practice," turning to the v jury, said." Yes, I think'the law does go farther than I was prepared t« lay it down. If you are of opinion that the iife of the mother ; was in danger, and that the blow struck by prisoner was a reasonable blow given for. the: •purpose of protecting his mother from danger, then it would come'under the : category as a blow, struck in golf de> , fence." Upon this the jury promptly ' returned a vedict of; v" Not guilty," and the prisoner was discharged.: i The gossipy writer of ; " Talk on ■ 'Change "in the Australasian says : " The Presbytery of Melbourne South regret that Mr Marshall, of Scots', admitted.even the possibility, of good' in-racing, : : I heard this week of an : up-country churchman -he is, I will , admir., a churchman rather in a busi 4 , 'iiess than an evangelical sense—-who. was actiug in a local race meeting, and he does his best to discourage, racing, but his methods-are peculiar.' ' He acted as starter lately at the little local race meeting, and said to. a friendv'Here, Jim,: the judge is not very well; just yon get into the box and judge this race, and before'you • do so put a couple of pounds oil Pharisee ; he's bound to win.' Jim t booked his wager, .and-:stepped into ; the box, only, to see the starter so manage it that Pharisee got away ; a dozen advantage of anything else.. In sprto; of this he ; was. so nearly omght that he had a bare head the best of it as he passed the .post, and /the public, with the : starter amongst Ihern,; were clamouring for the winner's name. '.Pharisee, by a head,' said the judgo. ' I;knew it,' yelled the delighted starter, as'he threw his hat in the air. ' Why; we had; the beauties .fixed -ai both ends! "/ , / , , ■ In. eating more sugar than the ; people :of 'any other country, 'Aus*' tralians would- seem to .have been! ' acting more wisely than they knew. : According to; Professor Anderson 5 -Stuart, sugar is -really a food stuff of very high value, and is' no longer ,to 1. be as. a, luxury..!. In his^ad<i.: ; ; to the Eo'yal Society receri'tlj^

he sai'T that four times more sugar disappeared in the muscle during the activity of muscle than while the muscle was at-rest, and Yaughan Harley had recently shown by experiments upon himself that sugar taken as a food was muscle food He found that sugar taken about 3.30 in the afternoon obliterated the daily fall in the muscle power common to us all, and usually happening about 5.30 p.m., so that " afternoon tea " too, might be justifiable on physiological grounds. These, he said, were interesting results, and, taken with the present prices of meat,'. bread and sugar, important, also. Assuming that 1361b of bread contained 701b of carbohydrates, and that bread was ljperlb. carbohydrate foods, which were absolutely indispensable in some form or other, were now as cheap in the form of sugar as in that of bread, It wa,s true tliat bread contained also the nitrogenous elements of. food, but these in Australia were generally preferred in the, form of butcher's meat, which was cheap enough and copiously indulged in*. This new position of sugar'in the dietary of the masses was, of far-reaching importance, and quite a thing of our own times. '

Typewriters [observes a "contributor to an English paper) hive a great educational value—a value which manufacturers have, doubtless, included in the price, they charge for. the ' machine. In ordinary penwriting, a blot, well placed, will save a man a search in the dictionary. Whenever you don't know how to spell a word you can either blot the plice, or slur over the whole letter, and write "In haste " at the bottom of it, This endears the pen to Oxford and Cambridge men who don't know how to spell; With a typewriter you are compelled to spend much valuable time over a dictionary, which is an uninteresting book. Constant comv pauienship with a typewriting machine lias a soothing and elevating influence on man. hard drinker, for instance; can use a 4 typewriter, His nerves must be in good order, or he will strike the wrong letters, and mangle up his copy. I know a case of this kind which led to the reformation of a, man. He was a typewriter and stenographer for a firm in Oxford-street. He was a good, all-round man, but lie would go on the spree occasionally. This the head of the firm did not like, so he thought he would teach him a lesson. The stenographer. was, a methodical man, and he went on his jamboree at stated times in the year.. When he returned on one occasion his employer had the machine all fixed for him, He had had the letters changed, so that when you struck •' H," for. instance, it ivould print " X;" and so on. The stenographer came back, feeling ' rather shaky anyhow, and: when he wrote off his first letter,, the result was simply 1 appalling. He thought ho had 'em, and began to tremble.; His master kindly sent him down to Brighton to brace up. The cure was complete. He never touched a typewriter again as loug as he livpd.