THE CENSUS.

Waikato Times, Volume XXXIX, Issue 3121, 16 July 1892, Page 1 (Supplement)

THE CENSUS.

Thk Sences taker in our town being taken sick, he deppertised me to go out for him one day, and as ho was to ill to giv roe informashun how to perceed, I was consekently compelled to go it blind. Sittin down by the road side, I drawed up the follerin list of questions, which I proposed to ax the peple I visited : — Wat's your age ? Whar was you born ? Air you marrid, and if so how do you like it ? How many children hav you, and do they sufficiently resemble you as to preclood the possibility of their belongin to any of your nabers ? Did yoa erer hav the measels, and if so how many ? Hav you a twin brother several y ear older tlian yourself' How many parents hav you ? Do you read Watt's Hitns regler ? Do you use boughten tobaoker ? Wat's Tour fitin wate P Air you trubeld with biles ? How does your mereaham culler ? State whether you air blind, deaf, idiotic or got the heaves ? Do you know any Opry singers, and if •o how much do they owe you ? What's the average of virtoo on the Ery Canawl ? If 4 barrils of Eraptins pored onto a barn floor will kiver it, how many plase oan Dion BouoicauU write in a year ?

Is Beans a regler article of diet in your family! How many chickens hav you, on foot and in the shell ? Air you aware that In jimmy whisky iB used in New York shootin galrys instid of pistils, and that it ehocta furthest » Was you ever at Niagry Palls ? Was you erer in the Penitentiary ? State how muoh pork. impendin crysis, Dutch cheeze, popler suvrinty. standard poetry, children's strainer's slave code, catnip, red flanuel, anoient histry, pickled tomaters, old junk, pwfooraery, coal ile, liberty, hoop skirt, &o, you hav on hand ? But it didn't work. I got into a row at tha fust hous» I stopt to, with some old maids. Disbelieven the ansers they giv in regard to their ages I endovered to open their mouths and look at their teeth, same as they do with hosßes, but they floo into a yilent rago and tackled me with brooms and sich. Takin the senses requires experiunoe, like any other jiznesa.