MELBOURNE GOSSIP.

Waikato Times, Volume XXXI, Issue 2526, 18 September 1888, Page 2

MELBOURNE GOSSIP.

[I'uojr ouit own* correspondent. |

There are two Parliaments just now in Melbourne—the Farmer's Parliament titting in the Town Hall, and that other Assembly which sits in the " House," There is a good deal of difference in the font atxembh of the two gatherings—one ensconced in form, paraphernalia, and dignity, and doing nothing but talk and vituperate at a cost to taxpayers cf £50 per hour, and the other bowling off the items in a and practical business paper with great expedition aud practical good sense. The proceedings at the Farmers' Conference seem to me to be typical of the class engaged in them. The speakers indulge in no sentiment, and make no pretence to graces of rhetoric. The farmers have met for business, and they do it with a directness and precision which indicate that they know what they want, and have made up their minds how to try and get it. In the other Parliament, our dignified and cultured Lower House, a good deal of time is taken up in personalities. Thu3, par cxcmplc. A certain M'Lellan represents Ararat, where there is a lunatic Asylum, and a certain David Gaunson (a veritable firebrand) represents South Melbourne. During a debate on the coal question it was suggested that M'Lellan was an authority on geology, when (Jaunson, scorning the suggestion, said openly that he would accept liis (M'Lellan'sj opinion as to anything insidn a lunatic asylum, but not outside. Thia

was practically saying the man was an

idiot. Then rose the mighty M'Lellan in his wrath and yelled out that " the

Hon. member should be the last man to say a word about asylums or stockades,' thus delicately implying that he or his

progenitors had had intimate experience of goals. So touched was the sen9ative Gaunson at this, that he even went to the length of giving a sketch of his pedigree, so as to show hon. members that there was no taint of convict blood in his veins. Pleasant badinage this, my readers will think, and worthy of the dignity of the House of Ass-inbly and a body of law-givers. Nairn-am cxpclles fnrca, lamcn iixquc rccurret. You may drke out nature with a fork, yet it will still come back. Nature will be nature still, and a blackguard will be a blackguard still, though 110 sit in Parliament and wear fine linen.

The foregoing, with its mention of convicts, reminds me irresistibly of a story of the old days I heard from a politician now gathered to his fathers, which story I hail the honour of publishing in exter.so in one of the weekly journals. As lam somewhat short of news this week, I might as well tell it. It was about an old shepherd—a former " lag " from Tasmania—who persisted in asserting that he had been an M.P., (Member of Parliament), and M.L.C., (Member of the Legislative Council). He was half silly, still in the outside district to which he had wandered he gained some notoriety, and many thought he had been what he represented, and had simply come down to shepherding through ill-fate. However, somebody came along one day who knew him, and solved the mystery. It seems that the old man had been both an M.P., and an M.L.C., but of not exactly the kind anticipated. Certain convicts before being shipped out to Australia were drafted to Millbank Prison. These, from the initials of the gaol, were humorously known as M.P's. Lifters were called " Must'nt-leave-the-coun-try's and so from these two sources the old shepherd had derived his honorary suffices of M.P. and M.L.C.

I have just finished reading a curious little book called " The Battle of Mordialloc, or How we Lost Australia"—a

brochure after the style of-Wie "Battle of Dorking." It relates how, when war broke out between England and Russia, the Australian Colonies declared their independence of the Mother Country. Then it poes on to tell how a joint expedition of Russians and Chinese landed at Western port, defeated the Victorian forces at Mordialloc, made themselves masters of Melbourne, and eventually of the whole of Australia. I can recommend the little work as interesting reading, and it certainly conveys a moral of what might be, though that the events narrated in the history of "How we lost Australia" are at all probable, I cannot for a moment think. However, if any of my readers are curious to read the little brochure, it is to be procured at any of the town booksellers. I would venture to give the author's name (he is a wellknown M.P-), but he desires to keep ib Wet, *