THE HEAD OF IVAN VANDERYITCH. An Imitation Russian Story. [YRAM ELYK SALLAD.]

Waikato Times, Volume XXVI, Issue 2125, 20 February 1886, Page 2 (Supplement)

THE HEAD OF IVAN VANDERYITCH. An Imitation Russian Story. [VRAM ELYK SALLAD.]

In* the midst of his breakfast, hit clemency paused. ' Tho head of Ivan VJindervitch !' said tliis high and mighty Russian, who ruled over many peasants and much land. He spoke to his chief steward, Ocvynd Paffenvitz. The chief steward trembled. Ivan Vandcrvitch was engaged to be married to his daughter. He loved him like a son. What was he to do ? ' I beg: your clemency,' he sighed, dropping on one knee, ' before I execute your oider I',1 ', tell me only what Ivan has done?' • What he has done !' said the high and mighty ' clemency ' thns addressed. •He sneezed in my face yesterday.' 'Surely unintentionally, said poor Paffenvitz. ' I know he has a. cold.' ' RLe enraged me,' replied his clemency ; •'tis sufficient. I desire his head, or yours.' 1 Certainly, your clemency, said Paffenvitz, trembling, and rushed away. ' I must see it,' cried his clemency, bellowing after him. "I'll have none of your tricks. Show it to me at four o'clock, and let it be neat and tidy, not in that nasty, bloody condition in which you exhibited the head of Voghtvoupuffrr to me." With a low bow Paffenvitz left the room, and his clemency finished the tea in the satnover. Ocvynd Paffenvitz was old, and his hair was white. He had the wisdom of his years, and long experience of Russian tyrants. He knew that if he would save his son-ia-law-to-ue, he must conceive some novel stratagem. At first he thought of beheading some servant who bore a resemblance to the unhappy Ivan Vandervitch. But, alas ! i Ivan Vandervitch possessed a noise the ' like of which was not to be found in 1 Russia. It was not exactly a pug, but it would have been if the nib had not beeu square ; his eyebrows, which were black, nift above it. His hair, which , was dark, curled in tisjht rings about his head ; his moustache was yellow. | There was no one like him anywhere. Ana P.iffenwitz his botrothed, said io, I and was delighted with the thought. At this moment it was her lover's greatest i danger, her father's deepest perplexity — j the fact on which his life bung by a single thread— that Ivan Vandervitch waa like no one else in the kingdom. I They sat together, theso two lovers i hand in hand, cheek to cheek. He fitted [ a ruby rig to her fair finger. I ' Whiter than snow, redder than the ! rose, and blacker tnan raven,' he whi«1 pered, looking at her white brow, her . rosy cheek, her jot-bright hair. I ' .Ivan Vandervitch, you think me fair?' she a^ked. , ' Beyond all women, Ana Paffeuwitz,' said he. • Then let who will be dynamited, we are blest, Ivon Tanpervitch,' she sighed. 1 Hu«h !' said ho. 'When you speak of dynamite, remember that the very pitcher* heve rais. Remember Siberia — ugh !' he shivered. 'It is cold in Siberia,' she replied, ' but lovo is warm.' She rauir the bell and the servant lighted the charcoal fira under the samovcr. She put lemon in the cup and handed it to him. The aromatic vapor encircled them. They drank cup after cup. He, because t>he poured it. Sbo to be his mite in everything as nearly as woman might, for she was a Russian lady. Tht> door opened ; Ocvyni Paffenvitz I "staggered in, pale, pautiug for breath, wr.ippcd in furs. 1 My father has come, Ivan Vandervitch, 1 said Ana Paffenvitz.. ' Your father, Ana Paftenvitz,' said ho. They exchanged smiles. 1 More tea,' she cried, clapping her hands together. The servants refilled tho turnover. With her white hands she refilled the cups, and added the lemon. Ivan Vandervitch drank. Ocvynd Paffenvitz drank. Ana P.tffenvitz drank also. They drank tea on the edge of a precipice, below which was the grave It is often no in Russia. The old man had much to say. While the servant was in the room he could not t-ay it ; (spies are everywhere in one's household. Finally the beautiful Ana Paffenvitz clapped her white bands together, and said : * Take away the tray.' Murritz Hansven, the servant, obeyed. They were alone. The old man arose, his white hair floated about his face. He turned his eyes upon the young people. ' Ana Paffenvitz and Ivan Vander vitch, he said, 'you love each other.' They smiled, he buret into tears. •Ivan Vandervitch,' he said simply, 1 his clemency demands me to cut off your head. He wants it by four o'clock this afternoon.' Ana Paffenvitz uttered a shriek, which she smothered in a sofa pillow. Ivan Vandervitch merely remarked : 'So ! Well, it is that unfortunate sneeze, I should not have uttered it but that his clemency opened his snuff-box under my very nose.' 'Ivan Vandervitch, said Oovynd Paffenvitz, ' his clemency did that on purpose. He desired an excuse to doom you to death. All were silent. Pro-ently Ann P'affenvitz remarked : ( Offei him my head my father; I cannot live without Iv»n Vandervitch.' • I shall cut off nobody's head,' said Oovyand Paffenvitz. 'Necessity is the mother of invention. I have become an inventer. Follow me.' Ocvynd Puffonvitn took a key from his pocket, and led the way fvom the room. They traveraed many passages and oorridors, and entered tho small apartment where tho beheadings of the household were usually done. I was draped in red, not to show* blood. Before them was a sort of stand, with a wooden top. • Ivan Vandervitoh, examine thi*, 1 *aid Ocvynd Puffenvitz. Ivan Vandervitch stooDed down, looked intently at his future father-in-law, and smiled. Ocvynd moved the top. In an idstant Ivan knelt down, The Up moved. It had a hole in it, and the front fitted to the back by little wedges or dovetziU. When Ivan had placed hi* chin upon the table hi* father-in-law fitted the back against his neck. Before him a lookingglass ran upward from the floor, reflecting the front of the box, so that the beholder fancied he could see the back. It appeared to be horrified Ana Paffenvitz that the head of her betrothed, rested, on

tho table, severed from its body. Old Octynd Paffeuvitz powdered the face with rice flour and fn«t< n< <! a no-it white frill round the neck. 'J lie illusion was complete. 1 Wo shall certainly < intri\e to play a little trick on hitcleim ncy tlii* time,' said tho parent of Ana IMli-uviU, who hud fainted as he bore her fiom the room. Shortly after his clemency inquired for Oovynd Paffenvitz. lie apr cared in his presence. ' My commands ?' ro.ircd his clemency. 'They are accompli- hod.' «aid the head steward. ' Come with me' They entered tho room of decapitations. There stood the head up'm the table, death white and awful. His clemency j regarded it. • Insolent sneezer, thou MieezfSt et me no more ?' he said. He fancied tho eyes flashed upon him a look of hatred, and stiode from the room. That night he emptied the samover thrice, and in tho darkness of the hours of slumber called for te.i yhortly after Ana P.iffenvitz married a foreigner who came from America. His nose was immense ; his hair light ; his name was Sam Smith. No one but Oovynd Paffenyitz and his daughter know that the air is a wi£, the note wax. Under them lie hidden the curly black locks and square nubof Ivan Vandervitch. Tb» ingenious invention lies shattered in atoms. The secret rests in the heart of three people, who nod over their tea, but say nothing. The tyrant lives, but he remetnebrs that look which the dissevered head gave him, and mutters in hU sleep the name of Ivan Vandervitch.