Fun.
Tour of inspection. The general, addressing the captain, whose face does not exactly indicate that he is a total abstainer : " Well, captain, the forage ? Is it of good quality ? " " Yes, general." " And the water ? " " Hanged if I know. The horses haven't complained." A joker, with an air of the utmost seriousness : " Have you read the horrible news in the paper ?" "No! what is it?" " Twelve hundred persons poisoned by eating eggs 1" Smart youth, feigning the deepest emotion : " All one family ? " In the green-room of the Comedie-Fran-caise a titled hanger-on plants himself before a lady of the Company, whose talent and spirit make her a general fovorite. "It is reported, madame, that you are shortly about to retire from the stage," says our genial friend. "It is very sad you know ; but one cant ' be ' and ' have been ' also." " Oh ! je vous demonde pardon," says the lady, " one is able to ' have been ' a beast, and also 'to be ' one ! " Two young men from the country are dining at a fashionable restaurant. After dinner the waiter brings round some tooth-pioks on a plate. The first countryman looks at the toothpicks for a moment then, sticking his lork into one, tries to cut it across, remarking to his friend. " Gosh 1 Billjthem's funny things to eat any- way 1 " But his mate, looking around the room and observing what the others were doing with them, says in a whisper that was heard all over the room : " You blooming fool Bob I them's not for eating-their only to be licked I " Stock-taking. — Sheep-stealing. A good two-foot rule. — Keep your feet dry. A man in the write place — An editor. At a public meeting in Edinburgh, some time ago, Professor Blackie told his audience the following story : — " A little boy at a Presbytery examination was asked, ' What is the meaning of regeneration?' 'Oh, to be born again,' he replied. ' Quite right, Tommy. You're a very good boy. Would you not like to be born again ? ' Tommy hesitated, but on being pressed for an answer, said, ' No.' • Why, Tommy ? ' • For fear I might be born a lassie 1 ' he replied."
Permanent link to this item
https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/WT18840531.2.52
Bibliographic details
Waikato Times, Volume XXII, Issue 1857, 31 May 1884, Page 6
Word Count
357Fun. Waikato Times, Volume XXII, Issue 1857, 31 May 1884, Page 6
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