MEN AND WOMEN. (Pall Mall Gazette)

Waikato Times, Volume III, Issue 142, 5 April 1873, Page 2

MEN AND WOMEN. (Pall Mall Gazette)

The question which is flic r.v>re interesting creature, man or I woman, is one that in the present paucity ol the seves, there I being but two, it is impoMible to scttb. Either a man or a I woman giving it in favour ol their own side might be sjjrl to J bo biassed, and if tbej' awarded it to the otlur, ho\;Jwjftd jb^H bo pro-red that they hnd done tlicni>ph es justice? It might ( even be a weak pcrsonnl propitiation. Literature pne^ un I impression wholly in favour of women, which n to the credit I of the masculine politeness, considering who the writers June I mainly been. If it had gone the other wav, it would h.ue been rerj shameful. Whether, however, men are man; interesting to men than women are, and -whether women find . more m women to interest them than they do in men, are points about which an appeal may be niude to evidence. It is true that books seem to take all for granted hero again. According to them, there never were creatures so fond ot one another as men and women. When you come to the fuels of real hfe, some doubt arises ,- one thing is certain, nothing like so much fondness is actually shown as is talked of. Observation goes to force upon us the unwelcome conclusion | that this pretended fondness of the two sexes for one another is ,tho great fundamental hypocrisy of the race. It would be unfair to dwell too much on the circumstance that they make one another uncomfortable in a way that men never make mon nor women women, taking that fact by itself. Tins might be a mere result of their being different. But a reyiew df the whole case tends to establish a general incompatibility between the two. Things will have to alter very much A men and women are eroi" to get along well together. The pretence that they arc dying of sheer liking for one another is not only not proved, it is disproved. Not merely is that, kind of mortality wholly absent from tbe returns, but after all these centuric3 the two sexes greatly keep aloof from our another. Whenever you can get a glimpse of their truo tendencies, it comes out clearly enough that men and women are domestic creatures under compulsion. Their real wish 19 for partial cohabitation. All kinds of social contrivances have been tried, the real purpose of which, no matter hovr it may bo disguised, is to separate the sexes, and so secuw^for each the pleasure of being only in its own society. Th<y|e is I no sacrifice men will not make to get this luxury. They w ill ' I support tho costliest clnbs, they will smoke, they will pretend J any sort of recreation, from cards down to billiards, sooncrfl than not be apart from women for a portion of the:r time. | The like thing holds of the ladies in their own way. The I inability of tbe men to stay at boms allows their w ives I to assemble mutual clubs in their own drawing-rooms, and they do so* For one club the men have, the women have hundreds— just as many as there are houses. It is all very well to decry this disunion, but of what use is that if it arises out of an incurable antipathy ? The truth is, the tastes of the sexes radically differ. At home feminine likings prevail, and there is no man who ia not more or less aware that the minor arrangements and the wonderful and to him superfluous filigree-like ornamenta- I tion of his house are not for him, nor for his sex, but for I the other. Just as little can it be doubted that men and-J women dress each for their own sex ; that it ia the admiral tion of their own kind, not of the opposite one, they lay | themselves most out for. Men and women are in a pr- I petual condition of surprise, and scoff at each other's I styles, both always self-complacent, and altogether omitting criticism of their own. The dress of the sexes utterly fails of the captivation of one another. The fashionable doings of the one are mysterioua to the other : for ninetenths of the time their attire is an offence to one another. Mutual criticism on the point has not the slightest recognition, nor do the modes affect each other save in the most rudimentary way. Each take their own course. It is not for the young ladies that the young men put on their wonderful neckties, their sleek fur collais, their astonishing jewellery, any more than it is of the male dandies the young women stay thinking in hesitating so long over the pattern of a lace or the tint of a parasol. Men never notice the pattern of the lace ; they pay little heed to any umbrella, unless it is one a man is cai ryiug. Both have 111 their eye those who can understand them best— their own se^c. Conversation equally betrays this natural opposition. If the sexes had real respect for one another, would they indulge in those nubelievable compliments ? Neither does it to those of their own kind whom they honestly like, m The artificial style of talk which is the traditionary cus- J torn of the sexe3 is plainly that of creatures who do not I understand each other and have mutual suspicions. Being strange, they betake themselves to compliments. A qualification in reference to the family relations has <o be made. 9o a man his mother is not a woman — she is a divinity ; the like partly holds in a girl of her father ; and brothers and sisters are not of any sex. But get outside this non-sexual circle, and the antipathy quickly comes into play. Boys nearly Jiatc girls, and the feeling is returned ; old men care nothing for women of any age, except as nurses ; old women creep together. It is only during the central portion of life that the sexes can bo said to be cml to one another. In fact, if nature had not forced men and women to low each other during that portion willy-nilly, and given them J that incredible and perplexing bribe of children, it is doubt- V ful whether they would have any mutual liking. Love in all | that exists between them. The score other feelings oi understanding sympathy, of apppreciative respect, of rational emulation which men have for men and women for women, neither aex has for the othor. It is astonishing, considering what a complete, intricate, long association the bringing up n family ties a couple to, and they do not become more really intimate than they do even m the beat cases. Doubt may well be felt that that there are few husbands and wives who, in 6|)ite of all the trials they have shared, have not at the bottom of their hearts a sense of grievance one against the other. At least, it may fairly be said that, if there were any joint concern of another kind which kept two men or two women partners of fortune under such mutual responsibilities for as long a period, they wotdd develop more warmth, of feeling on each side. It is very sad ; but it caunot be helped. The sexes are a partial failure, and somehow has arisen an enormous exaggeration of their liking for one another. Looked at calmly, the interest which each has for the other is wolully lacking versatility.