LIGHTER SIDE OF LOCAL GOVERNMENT

Western Star, 29 November 1935, Page 4

LIGHTER SIDE OF LOCAL GOVERNMENT

TOWN CLERK’S BOOK OB FUNNY STORIES. ‘ I A toad sweeper of the Bermondsey) Borough Council, London, wag poshing hia barrow along Tooley Street on a 1 miserable, wet day Seeing the letters) 8.8. C. on the barrow, the driver of a! bus which pulled up alongside him) shouted out: “D’you belong to the same firm that broadcast this bloomin’f weather last night?’ ‘Yus,’ replied thel sweeper. “And I’m the depression you ’eard abaht last night .... now moving eastwards!” Mr C. Kent Wright, Town Clerk of Stoke Newington, relates a host ofl stories connected with municipal life in| a book full of laughs, “The Lighten Side of Local Government,” recently! published by Messrs Allen and “Unwin! in London. We have all heard of the lady whoj greeted the Sanitary Inspector on. the: doorstep with, “’Ullo. mate, you’re the Drains, ain’t yer?” But a hostess •at dinner once said to Mr Wright : “I have often wondered whjat a Town! Clerk actually does —I know he has something to do with dustbins!” ! The Town Clerk’s wig and gown also lead to misunderstandings. At an Armistice Day service, Mr Kent declares, an urchin was heard to say, excitedly : “Look, ’ere come s the LordMayor, an’ ’e’s got a judge with ’im!’ 1 , Mayors sometimes say peculiar things.' One informed a newspaper, on his accession to office : “On the occasion! of the induction of the new Mayor, the fire brigade will be reviewed in the afternoon if it is wet in the morning, and in the morning if it is wet in the afternoon.” 1

A pompous Alderman, objecting to, the inclusion of a licensed victualler! on the Watch Committee, summed up) the matter in one sentence: “The) membership of the Watch Committee must be above suspicion, like Potiphar’s wife.” Everyone laughed, so lie added,, tamely: “1 seem to have mentioned) the wrong lady.” And it was the Chairman of a, Health Committee, discussing the type of milk which should be provided for) schoolchildren, who said : “What this) town needs is a supply of clean fresh’ milk, arid the council should take the) bull by the horns and demand it, ’ ’ The Southwold golf course was originally nine holes, entirely on the common; and the corporation permitted the construction of two bunkers at Is per. annum each. Subsequently' the club) committee asked permission to construct four or six more. When the matter was debated at the full monthly), meeting one councillor said; “Mi; Mayor, I object to the golf club cutting up our lovely common for these ’ere bunkers. Besides, they’ve got twd already, and I’ve never seen ’em use) ’em yet,” I A woman householder saw the ratecollector approaching and promptly locked both front and back doors. The collector, getting no response, attempted to push the demand note under the front one—which had no letter-box — but the woman blew it back with a pair of bellows. He then attempted the same thing at the back; but again she blew 1 the note back. Then she heard the collector exclaim to himself : “I’m blowedi if I’d pay rates for a house as draughty] as this !”

A distinguished Japanese doctor who was being shown the hospitalg and' clinics of a county council asked wliatl salary was paid the chief medical officer of the Ministry of Health When informed £3OOO a year, he remarked : “The doctor wh'o holds a corresponding position in Japan only gets the equivalent, of £6OO a-year.” 1 “That’s very inadequate for such u> responsible position,” observed an official. “Oh, it isn’t bad really,” said the Japanese doctor, casually. “You see, you can buy bananas seven a p any in Japan,”