EXAM HOWLERS

Waipukurau Press, Volume XXVIII, Issue 132, 30 May 1932, Page 2

EXAM HOWLERS

GENUINE AND OTHERWISE COMMENT BY A CRITIC Writing in the Otago Daily Times “■ Civic” says: — As with puns, so with schoolboy howlers —the best are rarely the best. That is to say that some arc too clover to be genuine, and some are too genuine to be witty. A column in a current London weekly quotes a few howlers from Mr Cecil Hunt’s new book, "Howlers Encored,” introducing the list with the unconscious damning statement that "Mr Hunt’s collections of howlers seem io become wittier and •wittier.” And it asks the question, i ‘Did wo think of such cunning answers when we were at school, or is the race of schoolboys growing more intelligent?” I wonder. The howlers selected for quotation are presented as genuine. But the sheep among them may easily be separated from the goats. Let us try it. Our good wits may jump and our great minds may think alike —or perhaps they may not. Are the following genuine, yes or no? From what State did Frederick the Great invade Silesia? From the State of collapse. (No). The Yellow Peril means a bananaskin left on the pavement. (No). Muses were often seen at funerals in olden days. (Yes). A. fissure is a man who sells fish. (Perhaps). Gravity is specially seen in autumn when apples fall from the trees. (Yes). Henry VIII was called Bluff King Hal because he bluffed his wives and then killed them. (No). Mrs Grundy was a famous tennis lady. (Perhaps). Napoleon defeated the Marmadukcs at the Battle of the Pyramids. (Yes). The Decalogue is a low-necked frock. (No, No, Nd).

Equilateral was a horse robber. (Yes). In the reign of Elizabeth the Commons were always petitioning the sovereign to marry, a thing they would

never have thought of doing in the time of Henry VIII. (Yes). A parallel line when produced tomeet itself docs not meet. (Yes).

Of what king was it. said that he never smiled again? t Of Charles I.

after his execution. (Yes). When the garrison of Lucknow ran out of provisions a Scottish maiden put her car to the ground and said, "Dinner, ye hear it.” (Alas, no).

FROM SCHOOL SOURCES EXAMINATION SIDELIGHTS The following answers to questions were given at a school examination: —

Q.: What other minerials exist in England besides coal and iron? A.: Lemonade and ginger-beer. Q.: What did Wolfe do at Quebec? A.: The wicked beast made war on Little Red Riding Hood.

A problem is a figure which you do things with which are absurd, and then prove them. St. Andrew is the patent saint of Scotland; the patent saint of England is Union Jack.

Q.: What is “below par”? A.: The eldest son. The Colossus of Rhodes was a great explorer; he discovered land in South Africa.

Joan of Arc was a French peasant girl called Maid of Athens for her bravery and patriotism. After many years she was cremated. A fugue is what you get in a room full of people when all the windows and doors are shut. An Irish bull is a male cow. Cereals* are films shown at the pictures.

People in Iceland are called Equinoxes.

Queen Elizabeth was called the Virgil Queen because sjip knew Latin.

Evolution is what Darwin did! Revolution is a form of Government abroad; and Devolution is something to do with Satan.