MILITARY HONOURS.

Woodville Examiner, Volume XXVIII, Issue 4627, 14 May 1915, Page 2 (Supplement)

MILITARY HONOURS.

T v. - n little Scottish children were boasting about their respective soldier fathers. “My father’s a soger,” said one little girl. ".My father's a soger, tae,” retorted the other. “Ay. hut niy father's a hrave man, a terrible hrave man/' persisted the other. “He’s been in a war, an' lie’s gof medals, a terrible lot of'medals., an’ he’s goi the Victory Cross and the Kins fastened it on «i’ his ain hand!’’ “ By my father’s a hraverer man than yours/’ said the other, sticking np valiantly for the honour of the family. “And he's been in a lot of wars, and he’s got dizzeus and dizzens of medals and Victory Crosses, and he’s got awudden leg that the King nailed on wi* his ain ban’ !” . USED TO KISSING. They were in a magnificently-decorat-ed room in the west end of London. They approached each other fiom opposite directions. One of them was as pale as a "host, the other blushing red as a cherry. Presently they met, and, careless of the fact that dozens of eyes were watching them, they kissed each other. The meeting seemed to bring them perfect peace, hut alas, alack! They had scarcely been side by side twenty seconds when a man approached with the fire of battle in his eye. With cool insolence he raised the stick he carried, and then—oh, horror ! —he struck a sharp, quick blow, and the pale one was sent spinning .several feet away. The other neither screamed nor fainted. There was no heart-breaking, no resentment, not even a murmur. Billiard-balls arc used to that sort of thing. A HEALTH RESORT. “Yes/’ said Jones, to some of his commercial friends, “ T like to get to n seaside town, where you can get plenty of fresh, bracing, wholesome air. Not this sooty, foggy stuff they call air. The climate in this wretched hole is simply abominable. Rain or fog—fog or rain —all the blessed time!” “Oh, I don’t know about that,” said Brown, bis six-foot athletic friend, “when I came here first T had to be carried about, and T could take nothing but a drink of milk—and notv, look at me!” “But you don’t give this town the credit for the change, surely?” “Yes, 1 do, decidedly. I was born here!” TOO TERRIBLE. Said the Kaiser to one of his Generals, “Who arc the Australians?” “Don’t know,” answered the General; “hut I 'remember reading once that eleven of them heat all England. “Mein Gott!” answered the Kaiser, “then we’re lost, for I’ve_ heard that twenty thousand arc coming to fight against us!”